I have deminoia.
Deminioia is my condition of being inside a story I have created without realizing that I have created it. During episodes of deminoia I perform as a character within this story and my beliefs anchor me into it, tightening the walls of this story around me, cutting me off from my true identity as its author.
Episodes begin when I “awaken here”. In truth, I am not awakening into a place or reality independent from me, but rather I am entering into the very shape of my belief system, which is itself a collection of hardened, plaque-like stories. I suffer because I mistake this authored story for reality itself.
The struggle of my awakening is not to discover something new, but to dismantle the story I myself have written. My freedom depends on loosening my grip on the narrative and the character I imagine myself to be within it. I call this unwakening.
To unwaken is not to win inside the story, but to gently withdraw from it.
…