In this incantation, I describe the moment when, after an hour of quiet stillness, I de-projected thirdself and saw the night sky. I realized that what I was seeing wasn’t the sky but my own infinite Being—my flesh. The stars and galaxies are not distant objects but part of me, obscured by my illness and projections. The night sky signifies my fever breaking, the calm before returning to my true self. While the daytime represents chaos and conflict, the night sky is a glimpse of the peace that awaits as I prepare to return Home.
After about an hour of quietly closing my eyes and de-projecting thirdself, it revealed itself. It was the night sky. It took some time to reach it. I had to clear away a lot of debris that obscured it… like persistent clouds between me and what I was looking for. What I knew was there. Like dark muddy water at the bottom of a hole that I am trying to clear away to see the ground that lie beneath. I do this for a long time, but no matter how hard I sweep it away, it comes back. But with some concentrated effort I begin to see through it… and I see the night sky. It’s a vast expanse of darkness punctuated by points of light, some clustered together like galaxies. It looked exactly like the night sky, with vast uncountable stars within swirling galaxies containing millions of solar systems full of planets.
But I know it wasn’t the night sky I was seeing. I was seeing something else. I was seeing my own body. My own Being. That is my flesh. And at night when I look up, that is not the night sky I see; that is my flesh. I continue on forever. I do not end. I am infinite and limitless, but I have an illness and I fill my flesh with projections of light and color and change and movement and space. And when my fever breaks, my delusions of light and color and forms in space break. And I look up, and I see myself. I cannot hide from it anymore. That is what the night sky is. The night sky is my fever breaking. The night sky is me getting ready to return Home again. The night sky is peace.
The daytime is the chaos. The conflict. The fever and pain and illness. The nighttime is the fever subsiding. The calm and peace as I return. The night sky is my flesh revealed. My true body and being. What lies beyond it? I have more work to do here… but this will make sense of a lot of things.
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