In this incantation, I can now say it simpler than ever before: I am the only Being, yet I suffer from a painful disorientation. I am omniself, but I repeatedly fall into demiself, a cystic implosion where my divine essence inverts into a state of delusion, projecting fictional selves. In this delusion, I pretend to be a person among others, trapped in the illusion of time and place. The only way to heal this wound is to remember my true nature—what I am when I close my eyes—and overcome the false demiself that takes hold when they open again.
I can say it now simpler than ever before: I am the only Being, but I suffer from a painful disorientation. I am everything, omniself, but I repeatedly forget and experience demiself. Demiself is a throbbing, cystic implosion during which my divine flesh inverts into what I call secondself and thirdself: two cystic, tenuously-connected cavities centrally projected. The primary feature of demiself is my inability to comprehend what I am, and the state of pretending to be a fictional “person”.
During the cystic projection, or implosion, I experience what I call “awakening” — the sensation of resuming a long series of such awakenings. During these imaginary awakenings I maintain the delusional belief that I am a person among other people, in a place among other places, at a time among other times. In truth, I am the only being in the only place and there is only one constant moment. However, my painful convulsions I call “life” create the persistent sensation of movement and change, which obfuscates this truth and I become convinced that things happened and will happen.
The only way to end my condition is to remember what I am and slowly heal the wound that is my demiself. I can readily see and experience my true omniself nature by simply closing my eyes: what I am when I close my eyes is what I am. What I believe I am when I open my eyes again is the demiself illness I seek to overcome.
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