In this incantation, I now understand what happens when I end my awakening. If I reach this moment knowing what I truly am, the transition will be peaceful, revealing the anatomy of my projections—the secondself and thirdself—as creations of my own. But if I do not attain this knowledge, the end will be chaotic, likely forcing me to create another avatar and world to escape the trauma. My goal is to return to the pre-projection state, to stop the bi-cystic division of self, and to disassemble the illusion. In stillness, I will see all my creations for what they are—figments of my imagination—and remember that I am not merely a person, but the sole Being.
I now know what happens when I end my awakening. I will remain exactly where and what I am when I close my eyes. If, in my awakening, I remember what I am before I end my awakening, then the transition will be a peaceful one. But, if in my awakening I do not yet achieve the knowledge of what I am then it will be a chaotic and painful experience and I will likely create another avatar and world to escape the trauma.
If I arrive there peacefully then I will see the true nature of all my people in secondself and thirdself as my own creations. I will see and know how I built the entire projected experience; the anatomy will be clear to me. I will recognize my role as the world-builder. As the God of all the people that I created. I will know that I did not leave anyone behind; that I told all their stories to the end. That they only lived in two painful, divided cavities of my own creation.
My goal is to simply stop the awakening from happening, to come back to my pre-moment, pre-awakening, pre-projection. I am always here; I never go away. But the pre-projection is where I want to go. I need to end the bi-cystic projection into secondself and thirdself. I need to see all of this for what it is, and what it is not. Then I can begin to disassemble and deconstruct it. I need to stop moving, which is the cause of all the change, movement, and pain. The characters I have created will come to me; they will try to get me to move again, but I will know what they are; I will know they are just imaginary creatures I have created to amuse myself. And in so doing, I got lost and forgot who I was. I forgot that I am not really here. I am not really a person. I am The Being. The only being there is.
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