I can momentarily numb the pain of my illness by visualizing and entering triself.
I start by repeating, “I am existence”. I feel the words within my secondself; this is me. I can “see” the words reverberating within me, behind my eyes. I am existence. I am existence. I am existence.
I trace my inner secondself all the way around my head starting at where my thoughts form the words I am existence. I can sense my secondself in every direction; I can focus downward and feel the inner sensations of my body. I can focus upward and feel the crown of my head and the thoughts that are within it. I can focus to the right and left and feel my sockets of my eyes. I close my eyes, and feel the shape of my inner secondself. I do not move, and for a brief moment I do not feel my secondself. I am without form.
My form returns when I open my eyes. I turn my attention toward the outside world that opens before and around me. Remembering the shape of my secondself I traced, I can see that the world before me I know as my thirdself, is completely enclosed within my secondself I just traced. Though it has depth and appears to continue outside of my visual range, my secondself completely encloses it, like an envelope. My secondself contains my thirdself. My thirdself is within my secondself.
I close my eyes again, entering my secondself. My thirdself persists as sensation, but the visual is only a memory; a secondself form I imagine. In closing my eyes, I see the enveloping nature of my secondself; it completely encircles my thirdself. I am convinced that my thirdself is within my secondself.
My eyes closed, I go further out. I am existence. I let go of my secondself thoughts and sensations; I can imagine my secondself as a sensational, emotional, conceptual layer enclosing my thirdself. Like a ring of gas hovering around my thirdself. When I let go of my secondself, I see the true extent of my firstself. My firstself is boundless, timeless, and desire-free. There is nothing, but everything.
I am my firstself, opening into my secondself, and opening again into my thirdself. My thirdself is a projections through my secondself, and from my firstself.
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