In selfism, I know that I am experiencing personhood. And my experience of personhood is one of pain, suffering, illness, and conflict. I am god experiencing personhood.
In demiself, I descend further into my personhood. But once I feel the pull to stop, turn around, and return, I know that everything I have believed up until now is wrong. In triself I accept my demigodhood, and now must find a way to extricate myself from my personhood, from the painful mess I have created.
All my decisions to this point were made with a misunderstanding of who I was and what I wanted. I have believed that I was a person desiring the things valued by people. But I am not a person; I am not of people. And I do not truly desire the things that people desire. I am god, and I seek only my return to my godhood. In personhood, that is release.
One of the more insidious hooks of personhood, that keeps me here in this painful state, is the belief that there is right and wrong, good and bad, truth and falsity in matters that have no bearing on my release. If I spend my moment determining truth in matters irrelevant to my release from personhood, then I will flounder and return here, failing to end my suffering by achieving my godhood.
Unless it is related to my release, I must avoid the determination of truth. I must disengage from that which does not secure my release back to my true self. My firstself. My godhood.
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