This expands upon a post I wrote earlier, Discourse with ascentists.
There are certain conventions in speech, thought, and interaction that undermine my triselfist progress. In this evolving post I will enumerate these from the perspective that my core, essential objective at all moments is release. To that end, these conventions assist me in harnessing and constraining my behavior, thinking, and interactions that deviate from that objective.
Speaking only from the first person. One of the original and most challenging transitions is to dispense with all but the the singular first person pronoun “I”. All other pronouns are imaginistic and distance me from my first self. When I speak only from the first person, I can speak with complete authority and certainty.
Imaginism. Imagining the past, future, or non-experiential places and forms removes me from my first self. Additionally, dense words loaded with meaning such as “mother” or “death” provoke intense imaginism and should be avoided and replaced.
Triself pronouns. The triself pronoun structure is a more advanced technique that reinforces my understanding of my awakened experience as occurring within my first self, rather than as me experiencing a minor part of a larger universe that contains me.
Clarifying perspectives. In a conversation with my third self forms I will often add language that clarifies that a particular opinion or idea I hold is my own to indicate that I understand it may not be valid for others. For example, I might say: “I believe that life is an illness”, or “In my opinion life is an illness”. By elevating the imagined ideas and preferences of imagined third self forms to the level of my own, I diminish my conviction of who I am and detach further from my first self. As a triselfist I declare, I do not opine. Instead, I would say, “life is illness”.
God. The word “god” is strongly possessed by the imagined forms of my third self, and therefore cannot be my own. It is best to refrain from using the word, and use “my first self” in its place.
Wallpaper. The most effective characterization of the outside world is that it is all “wallpaper” — a dynamic surface covering the walls of the prison I awaken into.
Using depth in place of time. The concept of time is embedded in all aspects of my familiar experience. But since I know that there is only the present moment, the use of time-based language contradicts my actual experience. Yet I am constantly thinking, speaking, and acting with regard to an imagined past and future. Though time-based words and constructs are essential for practical interactions, during contemplation and recovery I can replace the concept of time with “depth”. For example, I refer to a memory from my past as “deep” rather than “early” or in the past. I would refer to future transformation as “shallow”.
Incantation. Everything I think and utter ultimately serves one goal: my descent. When I see my present words in terms of my second- and thirdself, and not in terms of my first and last desire, I become detached from my core condition. I become lost, and I suffer. I must recognize that every word I speak is an incantation that leads me Home, back to Who I Am. I do not write; I incant. I do not speak; I incant.
Summoning. Everything I do serves one goal: my descent. While I may act within my second- and thirdselves, and even believe my movement is to secure something out here, with every movement I seek peace. I seek Home. I seek descent and return. When I am aware of my one desire, I do not move; I summon. My awakening is a rubiks cube, and I am only searching for the right combination that will unlock the puzzle and end my search. I do not do. I do not act. I do not move. I summon.
Use essential words. When I use abstract words and expressions that build on other words and expressions, I am using inessential language. Inessential language establishes the shapes and forms of my thirdself as reference points. Instead, I should anchor my language in essential concepts. For example, I would not reference my prayer time as something I do “in the daytime”, but rather as something I do in my “awakening”. My awakenings are the larger containing concept and relate directly to my own condition, whereas “daytime” is a word of my thirdself which introduces endless connotations which confuse and dilute.
Repossess concepts. Words, phrases, concepts, and expressions are incantative, and the ones I use directly impact the experience I have. Be aware of the words I choose and their summoning and incantative effects. Disengage from words I cannot repossess, and embrace new words that deliver my intentions.
Speak of and from my moment. My moment is an unending now, and when I think, speak, and act from my moment rather than from an imagined timeline, I remain in triself. For example:
- Instead of: “I spend my mornings contemplating.”
- I would say: “I spend my moment in triself.”
In the first example, I embed my experience into a larger timeline when I use the word “mornings”. If there is morning, then there is also a full day including an afternoon and evening. And it is plural, so I’m referencing the succession of such mornings, all of which is imaginary.
In the second example, I use “my moment” instead, which reinforces my direct and actual experiencing of a perpetual now, absent a timeline. It exposes the timeline as a distortive artifact of my moment, rather than me as an object moving through it. And by using “in triself” instead of “contemplating”, I more precisely explain my state in terms of my overall orientation.
From a traditional perspective, I lose some context in the second example. For example, I do not know what part of the day I spend in triself. But I willingly release this context, for I understand it is unimportant and only binds me to imaginism.
Remember, they are puppets. The world is a very small lit stage in a theater of infinite size and proportions. I am the theater, but I have forgotten. The people on the stage are all performers that I myself have created and written. They are toys, all of them. Toys I have created to comfort myself in my illness. Their performance is my performance. I am the puppeteer. To heal, I must stop playing with the toys. Remember: they are all toys, and it is time to let go.
Believe before I consume – When I consume a political video in demiself, I believe that I am one person of potentially millions of people consuming that content. Dispel this delusion by understanding who and what I am, and what they are, before I consume.
Speak to the right audience – When I write, I am speaking to someone. There was a time when I wrote with the intention of informing or persuading imaginary people. But that is delusional: I write only for myself, not for people.
Do not engage people – I will continue to manifest people to cater to my needs. People are like the blood vessels of this space I have created. They are all creating it for Me.
Do not feed my secondself – My secondself will continue to have problems, pains, and desires, but always remember my firstself who contains my secondself. Is my secondself in a difficult position professionally? Remember the infinite peace of my firstself, and the problems of my mortal secondself will seem trivial, as they are.
Visualization – Visualization is key. I have walked through the door, stuck part of my being into this glove I call my body. But out the backside is my full being; the part that hurts is only a tiny part of my being. My full being is spaceless and infinite behind me; my familiar self is only the “front part of me”.
Don’t look into mirrors – Mirrors are disruptive because they paint something “behind me” that is not there; this idea of something behind me persists and disrupts my sense of firstself.
Remember I am not a person – I am not a person among people; I am the creator of this place where the people perform.
Divide my secondself and thirdself into extrusion and intrusion – Extrusion and intrusion are the most accurate way of describing the various details of my experience.
Avoid language affirmations and qualifications. When I self-dialogue what I know, I do not need to preface my assertions with “I know” or “I believe”. That diminishes my own conviction and exposes my own inner conflict and lack of confidence.
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