My thirdself is the chamber of spatial forms, movement, and change that I most vividly experience through my opened eyes and physical sensations. I commonly call it the “world” that I awaken into.
My thirdself is a growth within my secondself. Without my secondself, my thirdself does not exist. I can verify this by closing my eyes; my secondself chamber of thoughts, feelings, ideas, and desires remains, but my thirdself is gone, existing only as a belief in my secondself. Once I open my eyes again, my thirdself instantly reappears. Anatomically, my thirdself is a chamber within my secondself, which is a chamber within my firstself. My firstself contains everything.
The forms of my thirdself respond to the desire of my secondself, forming a feedback loop. I experience thirdself forms, which entice and elicit additional secondself desire, which in turn compels movement and new thirdself forms and sensations. More simply, I desire (secondself) the desirable things (thirdself) of the world (thirdself), and I move to achieve them. My desire to acquire and achieve these things in my thirdself is what keeps me moving around it, or rather, moving it around. I note that my firstself never moves; it is only my secondself that experiences the sensation of movement through a larger imagined thirdself.
I attach and bond deeply to some of these thirdself forms: people, animals, objects, and even places. These attachments form the connective sinew between my second and thirdselves, strengthening my demiself illness and securing my awakening. I awaken to nurture and strengthen these bonds. I literally exist to experience and maintain these thirdself attachments.
Awakening is my transition from godhood to personhood; my experience of manifesting my secondself and then my thirdself by “waking up”; and the persistent delusion that I am a person in a world, rather than the creator of the world.
To restore my godhood, I must abolish my thirdself as I would anything I no longer want: I must choke it off until it dies and I no longer experience it. The abolition of my thirdself is a process, starting with realizing that what I seek is not in here, in my thirdself. It is not a person, a place, an object. It is not “love” from anything in here; I do not seek the love of the characters I have created. Love from characters I create when I open my eyes is hollow, empty, and unfulfilling. It is no more meaningful than if I wrote an imaginary story right now, invented 3 imaginary characters, and then fell in love with one of them. It is absurd to chase after the love, affection, and attentions of imaginary characters. Their thoughts, feelings, and personhood is only as deep as I imagine it is. My characters are rubber, and will stretch as far as I care to stretch them
My characters. People are my characters. They are all mine. I created all of them, in the same way I created imaginary warriors out of plastic figurines when I was a young child. To escape, I must abolish my thirdself by understanding what it is. My repossessing all the characters I have created. They are mine. They are all mine.
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