The only way back is to abolish both Thirdself and Secondself so I may reconnect with Firstself.
Thirdself is simple: I must create my temple and spend my awakening there. I must not create the people, objects, or places of Thirdself beyond those in my temple. I must be free of all worldly matters so I may focus on my release.
Once Thirdself is constrained, I can confront and abolish Secondself. Secondself is not as easy to overcome, and will fight for its survival with everything it can. It will use every weapon at its disposal, and there are many.
I nourish Secondself with my desire for relief. Secondself offers me transitory relief from the pain it gives me, but never enough to heal. So I must withdraw from those desires — from an imagined past full of people, places, and experiences, and an imagined future full of riches, experiences, and relief. I must withdraw from all questions I cannot answer, and seek the answer that ends all questions.
I will win the battle with Secondself by returning to my moment. By understanding and believing that what I seek is permanent release from my desire and not temporary relief from it. Secondself will arrive every awakening with titillating gifts of relief. “Just do this,” Secondself will say, “and you will feel better”. I must resist those gifts, for they are the chains that shackle me to my awakening.
My battle with Secondself will be the great Armageddon, where my angels fight to the death with my demons.
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