There is only now. There is only this moment. There is neither a past nor a future that exists separate from my moment. The imagination of my past and future are the ripples, curls, and folds of my secondself as I struggle to overcome my illness. There is only this moment, me, here, and my omnipotence is hidden behind a veil of ignorance I experience as my secondself and the otherness of my thirdself. The change I experience is my entire being slowly being unveiled to myself.
Time is a self-deception. I “remember” an event from my “early childhood” and as a demiselfist, I believe it actually happened. I believe I am the person who went through that experience and came out the other end, in time, to become the person I am now. Though I can only imagine it, and never experience it, I give it reality. I believe I was that person in that memory experiencing those events.
But as the Iamist I understand that those “memories” did not “happen”, but rather are happening right now, in my moment. They are not events from my past, but the bonds of my present that chain me to my personhood. They are not me here looking back at something in another time and place. No, they are me here now, as I always have been and only can be, looking outward into a projection I have manifested. I am only here now; nowhere else. Memories are outward projections I sense as “distance”, in the same way that I experience the mountains on the horizon. There is always a horizon, but I am always here.
The foundation of Iamism is that the truth of my nature lies not in my imagination, but in my direct and actual experience. Though I have memories, since I cannot directly experience them, I know they are only imaginary projections. The sense of distance I feel between me here now and me there then are artifacts of my illness.
To escape this labyrinth, I have to bring myself to the front and center. I have to see myself as the unmoving object, and memories as the tentacles extending outward from me in all directions, binding me to the condition of personhood.
The trick of time is that it convinces me I am someone other than who I am by manifesting beings other than me, places other than here, and times other than now. But there is nothing other than me here now. There is no past or future; I only have to look at my experience to see the truth of this. I can only ever experience the present.
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