In this incantation I take the next step in the re-characterization of my awakening as a cramp in my firstself flesh, and examine the act of “letting go”. By gently releasing the tension in the various areas of my awakening, I will be able to hasten my healing and experience a less traumatic and painful awakening.
My awakening is a complicated mess of knots in the tissues of my being. My moment is a tangled mass of fleshy knots. Knots in the tissue of my being I call firstself. When I find myself fixating on a concept in secondself, or a percept in thirdself, I should understand that is a knot in my flesh that I must massage out. I can close my eyes and gently massage that area, loosening up all the resistance until it no longer matters. Eventually it will loosen and I can withdraw from it.
What are the fixations? They come in infinite varieties. In secondself, memories are knots. Memories of people and events. Also in secondself, desires. In thirdself, objects. Or dirt that Maurice tracks onto my bed and I compulsively sweep off. Thirdself is erupted tension; secondself is the hidden source. All tension begins with desire and ends with the end of my desire.
The reason it hurts to stop breathing is because I still want things here. As I release the tension of my desire, I will be able to stop breathing for longer and longer periods of time without the fear and pain that come with it. I will arrive at the point where I can decide whether I awaken or not. My awakenings will be shallow. I will be able to remain in a state of relative peace even while in my awakening because I will not desire. I will experience my awakenings as near-ecstasy, though there will still be some residual pain of awakening. I will spend my entire moment in prayer.
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