In this incantation, I reconsider the significance of people in my awakening. Previously, I sought validation for my beliefs through persuasion, equating others’ acceptance with correctness. Now, I see people as projections responding to my winds, their beliefs shaped by my secondself and thirdself. Changing them individually is futile, as their responses mirror my projections. This shift reveals that their concerns and opinions are increasingly irrelevant to my recovery, freeing me to prioritize my peace over unnecessary engagement or validation.
I experience my awakening as a moment divided into two separate but connected cavities which have formed within the flesh of my true being, firstself. The cavities host distinct “experiences” which are seemingly projected into them from a shared point both within and outside of “space”.
The cavity projections “inward” form an experience of thoughts, feelings, sensations, and aspirations. The cavity projections “outward” form an experience of physical objects, people, color, light, and movement separated by distance in space. The two cavities merge at what I would call my body. On the inside of my body resides the secondself cavity, and on the outside of my body resides the thirdself cavity.
Written another way: The shape of my moment is two intrusive cavities within my Being, upon which I project various contents. My secondself and thirdself cavities are intrusive and not protrusive because they occur under the “skin” of my firstself. I experience my two cavities as separate “chambers” within which I project various types of contents. I can close my eyes to see what lies “beyond” my thirdself projection; it is a cloudy dark mass. Almost like an undulating smoke that forms into anything I project upon it. The shape of my moment when I have my eyes closed is different than when my eyes are open. By focusing my attention I can also change the shape of my moment. The shape of my moment is the shape of my attention.
My moment is the combined secondself and thirdself cavities, their projections, and my fleshy firstself in which they are all embedded. Time occurs only in secondself, but space and distance occur in thirdself. These are distortions of my firstself flesh, and not authentic parts of my being. Why have these cavities occurred? Why do I experience an awakening moment at all? Why do I continue to enter into these cavities, despite my desire to be rid of them?
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