In this incantation, I finally pull together the two fundamental diagrams of the selfist framework by which I can fully explain my existence. This has been a long road, and I am sure much remains to simplify even further.
The selfist spectrum lays out my entire illness from demiselfist to omniselfist. In demiself, I believe that I am part of existence, but in omniself, I know that I am existence. The journey from demiself to omniself is one of reclaiming my power to achieve what I desire. What do I desire? Peace. What is peace? Being who I am. In demiself, I assume personhood; I pretend that I am a person in a world of unimaginable scale and size. I am one part of something much larger than me. But this is a delusion and the source of my pain, awakenings, and yearning for release.
In demiself I experience demipotence; limited power to achieve what I desire. I always want more than I can achieve, and I experience a number of different types of pain and suffering. But I retain hope that what I seek is “out there”, in the wider world in the form of love, satisfaction, possession, and achievement. But it never is out there, for as long as I believe in demiself, I will only have a limited ability to satisfy my yearning. Demiself is the state of believing that I want something I do not presently have, and experiencing the pain that comes with never being able to close that gap.
In seeking omniself I am trying to restore my omnipotence; the unlimited power to achieve what I desire. I learn that what I yearn for is the end of my yearning altogether. I do not seek anything in my secondself or thirdself; I know that the end of my yearning resides within my firstself only. I know that nothing in my thirdself or secondself will provide me with what I am looking for. Omniself is the state of knowing that I have everything I desire. And omnipotence is having the power to achieve that in my moment.
What does omnipotence look like? I do not have to imagine. The answer I seek is always right here, right now. I merely have to close my eyes and find the peace of my firstself. Be here. I am fulfilled and at peace. There are no obligations or desires. There is nothing I want that I do not have. When I rediscover my omnipotence, I will have the power to remain here, without returning to my demipotent, delusional, painful demiself. I will be able to close my eyes to my thirdself, demanifest my secondself, experience the full peace and harmony of my firstself, and remain there. I will not have to return to my painful demiselfist experience. There will be no thirdself sound pulling me away from my firstself. There will be no secondself desires drawing me out of firstself.
If the selfist spectrum is the map, the triself model is the method. The triself model divides my existence into three parts: my firstself, secondself, and thirdself. Through this division, I find detailed instructions for escaping my demiself. The triself model simply disassembles my demiselfist convictions, values, and desires, allowing me to see that the forms of my thirdself have no value beyond that which I give them. As long as I give value to these forms, they will draw me deeper into the delusion of second and thirdself. As long as I value what a new car can do for me, I will manifest and maintain my demiself to achieve it. As long as I value a relationship with the people, I will awaken here and manifest them to enjoy that relationship.
The triself model explains my actual momentary experience as it relates to my orientation within the selfist spectrum. The triself model is a set of concepts and words that describe the essential landmarks of my direct experience within the context of my goal to end my suffering by ending my yearning, reclaiming my omnipotence, and restoring my godhood. The triself model is not imaginary; it can directly overlay on top of my actual experience with little imagination required. All I must do is redraw the conceptual lines of my reality so they align with my desire for peace.
In summary, I must understand my momentary experience (triself) to reorient and move toward what I seek. The triself model is my momentary experience, and what I seek is the restoration of omniself.
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