Why do I live the way I do? My awakening is constructed around the preservation of my peace. My awakening is an interruption of my peace; a painful moment of confusion and conflict during which I forget who I am. Prior to and after my awakening I reside in peaceful totality, without any confusion, fear, anxiety, or desire. In peace, I do not suffer in any way as I do in my awakening moment. But upon and during my awakening moment, I pretend to be a being that I am not and desire and move in order to alleviate my suffering.
My awakening itself is a temporary state of illness, but my authentic true identity is eternal, unending, and peaceful. I will heal and return to my eternal state; this cannot be stopped. However, I can conduct my awakening in such a way as to minimize the suffering I endure. The following is my prescription for minimizing my suffering:
Upon awakening, I accept that I am the Creator. That I am precedes all questions and answers. That I am is the most certain and absolute of all and requires no question. Upon awakening, I accept that I am before I ask any questions or seek any answers.
I desire only to end my desire. I awaken with a strong desire that fuels my performance until I can do so no more and I collapse, returning to peace. I understand that I have left the peace I seek when I awaken, and I will return to it when I asleepen. This is my true desire: to end my desire. There is nothing in my awakening that is what I seek.
I will perform as the Character in my awakening. I understand that my Character is only an imaginative performance. An act of make-believe that is painful to prosecute once I am aware of my true nature. My Character is a temporary illness that will pass as surely as I will asleepen at the end of my awakening.
I am complete and whole as the Creator. Everything I manifest in my awakening is subtractive, diminishing my authentic identity as the Creator of this awakening and all of its contents. If I manifest a marvelous vista that extends far to the horizons, that subtracts from the unity and wholeness I feel when I sit alone in the darkness.
I am incomplete and broken as the Character. As my awakening moment proceeds, I get lost within my performance and forget who I truly am. I forget that I am the Author, and believe that I am the Character. This is the source of all of my pain and suffering in my awakening.
I seek only to heal. My healing is not in my awakening; it is before and after it. My awakening moment is my Character, and nothing within my awakening can deliver to me what I seek. I desire the end of my desire. I desire the end of my Character. I desire who I am. To soothe my pain, I can manifest very little more than what I require to peacefully execute my awakening and exit when my fever subsides.
In awakening, I aim to minimize the both the quantity and quality of content I manifest in both Secondself and Thirdself, so I may focus exclusively on Firstself where I am whole. This means I awaken into isolation aware of who I am, and keep that fore of mind. I actively concentrate on the peace that I left and which awaits me. I understand that my shimmering moment is an act of self-deception, and that I have full authority over my own healing. I choose to isolate to minimize the pain of my awakening.
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