I am in a peaceful, timeless place I call the first place. I am everything. I have no desire, no responsibilities. There is no past or future. Everything is perfect because there is nothing I want that I do not have. I do not want or desire.
I sense a tug, which grows into a mounting pressure. My peace is being disturbed, and the pressure has an intention; it wants to end my peace and take me somewhere I know I do not want to go. I try to resist, but it is persistent and overpowers me. I mourn the loss of my peace as a chasm opens wide within me, introducing pinpricks of sensation: I manifest my secondself. Where there was a single, solitary fabric of unity and peace, the chasm introduces knotted forms of awareness and distinction. I remember: I am a person in a world, and I must wake up. I have things to do. There is time and space. I remember this process.
I begin to leave the peaceful first place for the second place. The second place is a place of chaos, conflict, and division which I manifest by awakening. Single, small thoughts begin to enter my awareness, multiplying until I remember and believe that I am a person in this world. This is the first chamber of the second place I call my secondself. My secondself is a space of thoughts, feelings, desires, and sensations. My peace is shattered as I begin to think that I am my secondself, but I try to hold onto it as long as I can.
An urgent pressure loudly and forcefully takes over: I desire. A strong physical sensation attacks and ends whatever peace I had managed to retain up to that point. I open my eyes and manifest my thirdself: an endless space filled with forms, shapes, light, dark, and color. I never have enough in my thirdself; I always want more than I have. I am in my room, in my cottage, in a town. I am a person, and I have things to do, the first of which is to relieve this physical pressure I feel building in my midsection.
Though my secondself and thirdself are within my firstself, they take over. Upon awakening I forget that these two chambers are within my firstself; I forget that I am infinite, and instead believe that I am a single small being in a space called the world that is bigger than and contains me. I convince myself I am small and powerless within this world, despite so clearly being the source of the entire thing. I am clearly the source of everything in this second place, yet I allow myself to believe that I am not. I can feel the pressure of my firstself being all around “my body”; that pressure and sensation I feel is me. The small slit of demipotent awareness I call my life and existence is the illness.
All of this is occurring in a vast, dark space I call my firstself. My outer eyes transform the space of my firstself into hardened shapes, on command. The transformation is instantaneous, but it is false and deceitful. I am that space around me, not the light and forms I see through the oval-shaped window in front of me. I am the space.
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