In this incantation, I move closer to reversing the definitions of fiction and non-fiction. I come to understand that what I once considered factual—rooted in memory and collective validation—is actually a fictional projection. True non-fiction resides solely in my own present moment, while everything else, from past memories to imagined characters, is fiction. This shift in perception redefines my understanding of reality, dissolving the illusion of an external, objective world that holds some greater, more potent truth than I alone. Note that I have related this incantation to earlier insights I arrived at during contemplation.
For as long as I can remember, I held onto the belief that non-fiction was factual—rooted in an objective world that existed outside myself, beyond my immediate experience. Fiction, by contrast, was imagined, constructed, a product of the mind.
As I sat in the various classrooms of my awakening, I ignored the truth that I was the emanator in every moment. That I was projecting every aspect of my experience outward. As I played along, pretending to be one of these one-dimensional characters I call “people”, I was in fact the source of the entire experience. The world outside—the one I had once considered “objective”—was in fact the opposite: it was a collection of imaginary, fictional beliefs.
Non-fiction, as it turns out, isn’t something of greater truth based on its confirmation by others. Rather, it is an entirely imaginary validation of the imaginary experiences of imaginary people that I have elevated to the highest status of all: fact. The true objective non-fiction is what is consistent with my direct and present experience. It is what I can feel, see, and know in the now. This moment is the only thing that is truly real; everything else is imaginary: the past, the stories I’ve been told, the characters that inhabit my world. All of these things are fiction. These are imaginary constructs, no more real than the thoughts or dreams that arise and dissolve. Even my memories of the past, once regarded as factual, have revealed themselves as part of this fiction. They exist only as long as I continue to nourish them with my belief. The moment I stop holding onto them, they vanish like any other mental figment.
This isn’t to diminish the influence these stories and memories have had on me. But their impact exists only in my present experience, in how they make me feel now. The past itself, like the people I once considered separate and real, is nothing more than a projection—an idea. My idea. The only thing that can be called real is this very moment, this direct, undeniable experience of now.
So I’m making a decision to update the definitions I use. Non-fiction will now represent what aligns directly with my present experience—what is happening in the now. And fiction will represent everything else: my memories, my beliefs, the characters I interact with, and their imagined experiences that I imagine. These are all part of the imaginary, part of the grand narrative of my awakening illusion.
This radial chart I prepared in 2021 effectively divides my moment into the conceptual and perceptual knowns and knowable, unknowns and unknowable. Everything in light blue is conceptual, existing entirely in my imagination. It’s important to note that I constrain my own conception and perception to the small ovals with a white background, and merely believe the rest exists somewhere beyond the horizon of my direct experience. Everything in light blue is therefore a choice that I make and a decision that I preserve mentally as a “constellation of reality” — the set of propositions, beliefs, and convictions I hold to be true and that together comprise my understanding of my awakening condition. The red orbit, labeled “the known to others” is where I believe the imperfect “non-fictional” or “objective” reality exists.
The boundary between fiction and non-fiction is no longer defined by an external world or collective consensus; it is determined by my own awareness and direct experience in the present moment. Everything beyond that is merely a story. The challenge now is how to reorient my awakening in alignment with this new understanding. How do I guide my avatar to sustain this course without complete disruption? As my conviction deepens, it will become harder to continue the pretense of being merely a person. The world may offer me treasures, which I will accept with gratitude, yet remain aware of their lack of true value. My characters will shift in their perception of me, and I must discard my subsurface projections of them. These changes will inevitably influence my awakening in profound ways.
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