In this incantation, I observe my awakening as my act of creation where inner and outer worlds emerge through my being. I catch myself mid-transformation, shifting from divine essence to human form, and realize how my body and thoughts shape this experience. By halting this fall before it completes, I recognize my power to escape my awakening fall, reclaim my authorship, and overcome my illness.
When I wake up, I project my moment outward. This moment encompasses every inner and outer form in my awakening experience—my physical body, my thoughts, my movement through space, my memories, and the countless experiences I encounter. It includes the content I consume and the people and ideas within that content, as well as my thoughts about the past, present, and future. Every element I can name or describe is a part of the vast constellation that makes up my moment.
Internally, this constellation is arranged in time, with the most deeply rooted formations feeling furthest in the past. Externally, it unfolds in space, where the most distant elements seem the farthest away. When I drift back to sleep, this constellation collapses, rolling back into a timeless, spaceless, formless state. This entire moment unfolds within something—and that something is Me. I can sense my Being all around me, but I feel it most clearly when I close my eyes. It is the essence of Being: the pure, undeniable experience of simply existing here and now.
I am the Being who created and entered the cave, not the Person inside the cave.
How do I do this? That I create my awakening is beyond question—but the how remains a mystery. There is no Being other than me; I am here, alone, as the creator of my reality. But how do I bring it all into being?
Now, I understand. As I was awakening, I caught myself in the act. Aware that my body had already formed, I observed how it extended outward. My body had started to form the framework of the world; my body serves as the spines of the space that ultimately forms “around me”. Rather than continue to move and expand the full space, I halted this outward growth and turned inward instead, observing my thoughts and beliefs—the commensurate spines of my inner world. I paused those as well.
In that moment, I envisioned the frozen faces of all my characters, the people that populate my awakening. I didn’t need to stop and write it down; I was fully immersed in the experience. I understood what I was witnessing and discovered new ways to visualize it. I saw how I form both the inner and outer sections of my awakening from nothingness, how I emerge fully into my awakening. I caught myself mid-creation, halfway formed. I knew I had not yet fully expressed my awakening, and in that half-formed state, I saw exactly how I transform from omniself to demiself. From God to Man.
My awakening is my fall from heaven to earth. The forsaking of my divine body for an earthly one. In this fall I come to believe that I inhabit this weak fleshy body, encumbered by memories of weakness and shame, addicted to desires of flesh and mind. I must become aware before I fall; before my personal body and mind form and ossify into the framework of my awakening. It is at this point that I can subvert my illness and escape its clutches. I will be able to rebuild my throne and author the story of my awakening once again.
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