I have spent a lifetime searching for the fundamental answer that clearly, instantly, and conclusively resolves every question I have. I have called it by many different names, and even believed I had found it on more than one occasion. But what seemed whole was always exposed as incomplete. With this post, I term this the existential primitive.
What is the existential primitive? It is the truth. But what is the truth? The truth is what remains after everything inessential is let go of. It is the last conceptual element before I make the leap from knowing to being. It is the very last thing I need to know before I am. The bridge where I leave becoming and enter being.
There is only one criterion for the existential primitive: I must be able to directly and instantly validate it. It does not require me to move from where I am now. Or buy a book, study a topic, or listen to anyone else. It is not something anyone else can teach me or even explain to me. Because no one else would. They could not because I created all the people in my thirdself as models of my own lost, searching self.
The existential primitive is a constant in my moment. The trouble is remembering how to see it, then finding the words to explain it. The words, once expressed, are so simple and clear I marvel at how I had missed it all this time.
The existential primitive is simple: I am existence. That means I am everything. I can validate that, in this moment, by closing my eyes; that is the peace I seek. Everything trying to pull me away from my center is the illness I need to overcome. Everything that compels me to open my eyes and rejoin “the world” is the illness.
A short summary:
- I am not one of these people in my thirdself. I am not a person. I am not one of them.
- All these people are characters in a story I have written, and I have gotten lost in the story.
- The story is an illness; a delusion that draws me away from who I am.
- Who I am is peace; I am complete and total. I am not this “person” in this “world”. I am not lacking anything in any way, for I am everything. I am existence.
- The separation that occurs when I awaken, open my eyes and emanate my second and thirdselves is the source of my experience.
- The first component of my awakening is desire; this is the residue of my separation from my being.
- That desire continues to emanate in all directions, creating all of the thoughts, ideas, and dreams of my secondself, and then all the people, places, and things of my thirdself. These are all terminal points.
- All these terminal points in my existence are misplaced desire. My true desire is for lasting and permanent release. But all the things of my second and thirdselves only deliver transitory relief.
- To heal, I must reorient away from the pursuit of transitory relief and toward permanent release.
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