In this incantation, I explore the process of awakening into distinct layers of self-awareness, which I define as secondself and thirdself. The secondself represents my mental and emotional existence—thoughts, beliefs, and inner experiences—while the thirdself manifests physically through sensory experiences like movement and environment. I examine the depth of each manifestation, with deeper experiences attaching me more firmly to the illusion of waking life. My aim, as an Iamist, is to constrain both selves to weaken these attachments, facilitating the deeper experience of my firstself in “asleepening,” a path toward self-abolition and detachment from the illusions of existence.
I awaken into my secondself and thirdself. My secondself manifests first, as a general sense of awareness of being a person in time, inside of a body inside a world, with thoughts, beliefs, feelings, desires, needs, obligations, a past and future. After I manifest my secondself, I nearly simultaneously manifest my thirdself as a physical space which introduces visual, auditory, and other sensations into my awakening.
I can visualize the depth of my awakening across two dimensions over time in a linear pattern. The depth refers to the degree which I manifest and experience sensations in each self — thoughts, ideas, emotions, memories, and desires in secondself, and people, objects, places, and visual sensations in thirdself. The more of either that I experience, the “deeper” I could be said to awaken in that self, respectively.
In the example above, I awaken deeper into my thirdself than my secondself. Perhaps I spent my awakening doing a lot of physical movement outdoors without much abstract thinking. I could just as easily spend all my time indoors with little physical stimulation but a lot of deep thinking, as in the case of performing administrative work. The point remains that there is a measurable depth to my secondself and thirdself activities.
My objective as the Iamist is to awaken shallowly by constraining my second and thirdselves. In simpler terms, shallow thirdself manifestation is moving less in space and manifesting fewer forms, people, and places. The most constrained version of my thirdself is sequestering myself in a small, dark cell with little to no light or visual adornment to draw in and titillate my physical sensations. Similarly, shallow secondself manifestation is “moving less” mentally, conceptually, and emotionally to reduce the amount of “internal” sensations I experience.
In the example below, my awakening is constrained. Thirdself-wise I might spend my awakening in my dark cell in my cottage. And since I manifest my secondself deeper than my thirdself in this instance, I might be praying and meditating.
Secondself and thirdself constraint in my awakening introduces opportunity to experience my firstself deeper in my asleepening. Ultimately, the objective of secondself and thirdself constraint is self-abolition by weakening the roots which keep me trapped in my illness, awakening. The deeper I awaken, the more firmly I attach to my awakening and the more I will experience it.
There is another dimension of my awakening based on the type of depth of my manifestation. On one end is constructive manifestation, and on the other destructive. Constructive manifestation — either secondself or thirdself — is when I create forms that draw me deeper into my awakening. They strengthen the roots of my awakening. For example, if I decided to travel to a foreign for leisure this strengthens both my second and thirdselves. Secondself because it stokes my desires, expectations, and commitment to awakening, and thirdself because it requires a great degree of physical movement and introduces titillating physical experiences.
Destructive manifestation, on the other hand, is activity aimed at weakening the roots of my second and thirdselves. In secondself, incantation focused on self-abolition, while intense and deep, ultimately destroys other constructive secondself roots such as my demipotent beliefs and desires, freeing me that much more from the entanglement of awakening.
…