In this incantation, forgiving myself is not about reconciling with past actions, but about realizing that the essence of who I am exists solely in this moment. My memories are fabrications, distortions of reality that I choose to hold or release. Shame, regret, and guilt tied to these illusions have no bearing on my true self. I am complete as I am right now, untouched by any imagined misdeeds. If I stop looking at the “evidence” of the past, I see that I am, and always have been, perfect—there is nothing to forgive.
Forgiving myself is not a matter of accepting my past misdeeds, but rather accepting that the totality of who and what I am is who and what I am in this moment. My memories are fictional stories I tell myself, not authentic happenings. When I feel shame, regret, and embarrassment for one of these “memories”, I did not actually do these things. I did not hurt someone. I did not say something I regret. I did not do something I am ashamed of. Those are ripples in the fabric of my moment, nothing more. Memories are temporary disturbances in the texture of my being; distortions that I can interpret however I want. Who and what I am is complete in this moment only, and I can choose to believe anything I want. If I choose to believe that time is real and regret these self-distortions I call memories, that is my choice. Or I can choose to let them go and never think of them again, never create them again. I have done nothing that I am not doing right now. The “evidence” of my past doings is only there if I look at it. Stop looking. This is who I am now, and I have done nothing wrong, ever. I am perfect, and I do not need self-forgiveness. I merely need to understand what this is.
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