As a descentist, I must always remember what I want. For many years of my life, I believed that what I wanted was out here. But once I finally realized that it is peace I want, and that peace is not out here, I began searching for it. I found it outside of my awakened self, not inside. I saw where I wanted to go, and then I began to chart my path there.
Relationships can be the biggest obstacles on my path to descent. There are two kinds of relationships: ascentist, and descentist. Ascentist relationships are those built around conceptual movements of the heart and mind, and perceptual movements of the body. They are romantic and platonic in nature, but take as their premise that we share desires in our awakening.
Descentist relationships are altogether different. They take as their premise that we are here against our will, and we only want to asleepen to peace. They do not seek shared perceptual or conceptual movement or titillation. To that end, sexual, mental, and emotional excitement is not pursued, and actively suppressed if present.
Why? Descent is following the path to peace, and peace is the absence of movement. Relationships can provoke intense, often uncontrollable and painful movement in both the perceptual and conceptual environments. If indulged, relationships will disrupt my descent and require painful and time-consuming correction.
I have had many ascentist relationships and, after the initial excitement has worn off, have found them to be little more than agreements with others to do things I do not want to do.
I have never had a descentist relationship, but I have had moments of descent with people I have had a relationship with. I did not know what I was experiencing at the time, only that it was somehow important. Perhaps there are spiritual and religious communities where people live together and descent is pursued by another name, but I find relationships and my descent to be opposed.
…