In this incantation I document a secondself inconsistency in the way I think about the space of my awakening, and how I must rectify it with a different interpretation. I recognize that by closing a curtain, I do not shut out an external world, but rather un-create or demanifest it. I realize that the outside world only exists because I project it in both my secondself (thoughts) and thirdself (space), and that my true power lies in aligning these projections. There is no space, time, or being beyond me unless I create it, and my awakening requires seeing this clearly—understanding that nothing exists beyond my own creation unless I manifest it.
There was a small gap in my curtain, and I reached over to close it, restoring the darkness around me. As I projected in thirdself my arm closing the curtain, I projected in secondself the thought of me shutting out the light from the space outside of my house. This secondself thought pattern reinforces the imaginary structure of my awakening — that there are places other than here, times other than now, and beings other than me.
Why? Because I interpreted my performance as shutting out the sun from the outside world. I have to imagine and believe that there is an outside world that I am shutting myself away from. This is the personal or observer perspective in which I am only an observer of this small space within a much larger space I believe to exist that I am not presently observing.
But that it not true. There is no being other than me, no space other than here, and no time other than now. If this is true, then how can there be a space outside my own that I am shutting out? There cannot be. Either there is a space other than here and I am shutting it out, or there is no space other than here. Only one can be true, and I know that mine is the only space.
So rather than projecting an imaginary outside world in secondself as I close the curtain, I actually un-project, or un-create the outside world. I do not close the curtain to prevent the sun from casting light into my cell; I demanifest my thirdself sun by closing my curtain. If I am drawing a picture, and I erase some part of it, that part which I erase does not continue to exist independently of my drawing; it is gone. I have erased it. The same goes for a story. If I remove a scene from a story I am writing, that scene does not continue to exist somewhere else until I once again reveal it by describing it. That part of the picture, and that scene in my story, are both gone once I erase or remove them. The same can be said for the light from the outside world. Once I close my curtain, I exercise my omnificence — my unlimited power of creation — to erase that part of my awakening story. It does not exist beyond my moment. If I were to capture the “outside of my cottage” right now, in a picture, it would be a dark, shapeless, formless eternity. There is no sun outside shining until I manifest it.
In my awakening, I must stop imagining that there is something other than what I write and manifest. There are no stories beyond my own being, my own space, and my own time, unless I believe there are. I do not close the curtain to shut out the light; I demanifest the outside space, thirdself. It simply is not there unless I am projecting it. When I close the curtain, I am demanifesting it in thirdself, yet I continue in secondself to project it. I must bring my thirdself and secondself projections in alignment: it is only in secondself if I project it there, in the same way as it is only in thirdself if I project it there. If it is not part of my thirdself, then it is not part of my secondself. As I go about my awakening, I must focus on aligning my secondself interpretation with my thirdself experience.
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