I recently told a person in my life about the Selfist Model, particularly the framework for moving from demiself to omniself through triself. He listened respectfully, responded carefully, and finally in closing wrote, “thank you for sharing”. I immediately knew that I would have to clarify something.
Sharing is something I do in the spirit of bonding with equals. I share to elicit a response because I want something from the person who I shared with. Sharing is based on the idea that we are equals in personhood. I do not share with dogs, flowers or cardboard boxes. I share with people because I believe I am a person, and I believe by sharing I can get something of value from them. There is nothing of value a dog can give me that I might solicit by sharing my philosophy.
But that is not what happened here. I was not “sharing” in the way that I seek anything from this person. I do not want anything he can give me. I do not want to persuade him or secure his approval, questions, affirmation, or praise. I was not sharing; I was announcing. It was a one-way proclamation declaring who I am, and who he is in relation to me. I was not a person sharing with another person; I was the author declaring himself to his characters.
Desiring and then seeking things from the people of my thirdself is a never-ending treadmill. I move continuously toward this thing I desire but never get from other people. That expands my emanation outward in every dimension of my existence. The more brightly I shine and emanate in pursuit of my thirdself people, the further away I get from who I really am. But if I take back that desire I give to other people, and bring it back to my firstself, which actually will give me everything I truly desire, then I will contract my demiself emanation.
This proclamation to this person was a triself declaration: “the absolute truth is that I am the author of this book, and you are a character I have written, and there is nothing you can give me that I want”. I did not share something for his imagined approval; I revealed my identity as the author to a character in my story I wrote. This was a matter of claiming my rightful power from someone I had previously given it to. I was repossessing my desire.
With every awakening the pool of value I recognize that other people can provide to me is narrowing. Every day I want less from people, and one day I will desire nothing from them at all. To reach that point, I must disrupt all relationships I have in which there is the underlying assumption that we share personhood. I must uproot, confront, and destroy these relationships because they are detrimental to my recovery. Because I am not a person in the same manner as these fleshy shapes that flutter around my second and thirdself awakening, and as long as I believe otherwise I cannot return to omniself.
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