I mourn my awakening.
I will continue to awaken into the second place until I am who I am. When I forget who I am, I wander deeper into the second place. When I remember who I am, I move closer to the first place.
There are three stages of my awakening, and each is an opportunity to remember who I am and what I want.
Awakening. I leave the first place and return to the prison of the second place. I mourn my loss of peace, and then prepare for the battle ahead.
Illness. I am fully entangled in the second place, and ill with the desire of relief. I see my bonds and I must escape them.
Asleepening. I am tired from battling my illness, and the first place calls me back. I welcome my return, for it will replenish my strength for the awakenings ahead.
I must remember that my only goal in the second place is to end my awakenings and return to the first place. Through prayer I remember who I am and find the strength to fight the bonds which keep me here.
In awakening, god is the desire for peace, while satan is the desire for relief.
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