In this incantation, I explore the oscillation between two existential states: omninoia, where I am whole and desireless, and deminoia, where awakening births desire and suffering. I describe how deminoia is not reality but a self-induced illusion driven by identification with narrative and separation. As I remember that I am the creator of the entire awakening, not just a participating creation, I begin reclaiming authorship over my story and shedding false desires. Characters are revealed as mirrors—reflections of my own inner state—and as I detach from needing their validation, I return to the infinite stillness that underlies all experience.
I exist in two states: in omninoia I am whole, complete, undivided, and perfect. I do not have anything to do. There are no people, or jobs, or stories, or politicians. I do not desire, for I am complete and whole. Then I awaken, and my desire emerges like a great thirst, leading to the pain and suffering of awakening: the state of deminoia. There are people, and places, and things. There are goals and responsibilities and plans and great and unceasing movement. There are questions and answers. There is a great tangle of narratives weaving into one another like individual threads in a rope. In deminoia I can spend all my effort untangling these narratives and yet never find that it is that I seek. Always searching but never finding.
My existence is a fluctuation between omninoia and deminoia. I am a fluctuation between omninoia and deminoia. Deminoia is a state of illness; a state that I want to end… to do that I must recognize that my experience of deminoia is a self-induced condition, and only I can rescue myself from it. Firstly, I am not the collection of experiences that form my deminoia. My true being is experience-less – My true being does not have a textured awareness… does not recognize distinct and separate things… everything is Me and my Being, so there nothing else to recognize. Recognition and otherness is deminoia.
This greatly simplifies my understanding of what is happening. I am omninoid – It is deminoid. I have complete awareness, reducing my existing to all and nothing. Then for some reason yet unknown and by some mechanism yet unseen, forgotten, all the following happen at once: I start crafting a narrative that I enter as It. It awakens; It experiences desire; It loses omninoia and enters deminoia. It forgets the I before It, and believes that Its true essence is constrained to this awakening experience.
As It becomes aware that It is a disease, It will start looking for the mechanism of creation. This is the way that It is creating Its reality… Its awakening. It is the process by which It transforms from believing that life and the world are happening to It, and instead It is manufacturing everything within Its awakening. Let’s take a firm example: It awakens and starts Its workday. It needs to fill a new position in Its company. The deminoid approach is to believe that It must find the right person to fill the role… It must attract and then find him or her, and there is a possibility of not finding the right person. In deminoia, It is something that It must hunt and compete for, potentially not getting.
But as It awakens, and rediscovers that It is actually manufacturing the entire narrative, It transitions to understanding that It is not finding a person among all the people, but rather It is manufacturing the right person… or the wrong person. It is fashioning the character. As It aligns with the truth of Its identity, and accepts that behind It is I… It will manufacture characters and experiences with greater precision. This will be the golden age… when It will retake the controls of Its narrative and conclude Its story peacefully.
It does not see exactly how this will come to be, but It does see it happening. It will know every part of the story and regain control of all of the threads. Its story has gotten out of control; It has allowed the story to write itself, thus reducing It to a passive observer rather than the author of the narrative. But It will remember.
The way out now is emerging… becoming clear. It can see that there is a way It must interact with the elements of Its awakening… It must remember that the people are characters, and tell them every chance It can. The characters cannot validate anything that It writes or I am. It must not write for them; they are merely reflective surfaces and nothing more. They will reflect as deeply as It cares to look. The deeper It looks, the more they will reflect. The reflection is hard to control. If It looks upon them, waiting for them to approve or validate, It is misunderstanding what they are. That is like looking into a mirror and looking for the reflection to approve my philosophy. That demonstrates a fundamental misunderstanding of what is happening. The mirror merely reflects Me back to me… the characters are the same. They will reflect the disharmony and conflict and confusion that I present. The surface is a great mirror, nothing more.
It can also withdraw and return to omninoia… It is not required to wait for asleepening. It can pull back… retreat from Its face… pull back behind It and look at how It behaves. See It the way It is: a cancerous growth. A wound. It is not Me, but It is of Me. I am much larger and behind It.
Once It recognizes what It is; accepts that this mask and this performance and this garment of flesh It dons upon awakening is not Its true being, It must remember how to interact with the characters and the awakening. It is already doing this; It awakens into a completely darkened, featureless space, which is essential for detachment from Its awakening experience. It must also tell the people who It is; who I am, at every chance It can. The people will not appear to understand, but they will accept It and move on while continuing to take the abundance that It provides. That is essential. It must also not desire anything; or rather It must be aware of what It desires and accept that those must all end. It can carve away Its desires piece by piece untli there are none.
As Its desires diminish, It will write great abundance into Its story. It must disburse this abundance, but without emerging. It must not seek the validation of the characters, for that would not make any sense. That would be like seeking the approval and reinforcement from the man before me in the mirror.
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