Sunday is my day of prayer. It is the day I remember that I seek the way out, above all else. It is the day I come back to my return. I have spent the last week of awakenings foraying deeply into my secondself and thirdself, creating pathways to places and futures. It is during my day of prayer that I remember that what I truly seek is not in those places or those futures. What I seek is right here, right now. What I seek is me.
The way out is the way I enter. I arrive through the awakening, and I will depart through the asleepening. So on my day of prayer I must awaken shallow. I must not dive deeply into my secondself of thoughts, distractions, and anxieties, or my thirdself of people, places, and things. My day of prayer is a day of renewal of my vows to heal and overcome my illness. My seventh awakening is the time I shore up my journey Home. I remember who I am, where I am, and what I seek. I do not delve deep into the matters of secondself and thirdself that tether me to my illness. I let go.
Let my seventh day be a day of letting go. I can throw our and let go of those secondself and thirdself forms I cannot take with me to firstself. Let my seventh awakening be a renewal of my commitment to myself. To healing. I do not manifest my thirdself beyond the shallow amount I need. I constrain my thirdself by shrouding my space. I do not manifest my thirdself outside, and if I must, I choose paths which avoid people. I ingest little, fasting. I do not manifest establishments or relationships. I constrain my secondself to my prayers. I do not manifest and consume content or entertainment, or the affairs of imaginary people. I do not reflect on my goals in the second place, or the relationships I maintain there.
In my day of prayer, I focus on my health: what is keeping me here? What is happening that I must change to return Home? What must I let go of? Who must I demanifest? What desires are diverting me from overcoming my illness?
On my seventh awakening, I awaken shallow so I might asleepen deeply.
…