In descentism, the concept of “desire” includes the full range of my needs and wants. Needs are not separate from wants; they just occupy different ends of the same spectrum. I might note that a need is a requirement for my physical survival, while a want is not. But that distinction loses its significance with a deeper understanding.
I think of the full range of my desires as a sequential ‘stack’ in terms of when they arrive and depart in my experience. For example, I might note that my very first desire upon awakening is to simply rise out of bed, followed shortly by using the restroom, cleaning up, then eating. Eventually, these are followed by various activities in preparing for a day of toiling in order to achieve longer-term desires.
In this way, I can chart out a progression of desires which compel mental and physical action on my part. Some fulfill urgent bodily needs (such as using the restroom), and others fulfill longer-term aspirational desires such as earning money to buy a new house. There are some which continue automatically in the background without my thought, such as breathing. And others which require persistent awareness and planning. In the descentist framework, these all belong on the same spectrum of desire.
But there is a foundational desire that is stronger than all other desires I experience. It arrives before my need to eat and drink, and before my aspiration for wealth, comfort, and meaning. I am surrounded by expressions of this desire, but their sheer multitude and variety make them inaccessible and impractical. These range from God to purpose, meaning, and love. While these can be useful expressions of aspects of this foundational desire, they are imprecise and disconnected from a fuller existential expression that takes my entire life experience into account.
I call this foundational desire my ‘essential desire’. It arrives before all other desires that I may experience in the course of my existence. I might call it my nature, my instinct, or my pre-desire. It is the very foundation of my existence, and is the thing that I am always seeking, knowingly or not. Knowingly or not, everything comes back to my essential desire. It is like the magnetic force, or the inertia.
What is this essential desire? Naturally, there are many words I can use. But at its most basic level, my essential desire is for relief. Relief from what? Relief from the multitude of pains I experience by simply existing.
Every mental, emotional, spiritual, physical action I take is done with regard to my essential desire for relief. Knowingly or not, my existence both starts and ends with my essential desire. In terms of my progression of desires, it is the very first desire that manifests upon awakening, and it is the very last desire that manifests at the end of my awakening. Out of familiarity, I call it different things, but it all boils down to relief from the pain and suffering that occurs between the moments I awaken and asleepen.
Imagining a single awakening, the above diagram shows my two states: the Essential when I sleep (the first place, the first shape, etc); and, the Inessential when I am awake (the second place, the second shape, etc).
In this diagram, I start at sleep (1), or the Essential state. As I awaken, my desire to remain in the peace of sleep is strong (2), but eventually succumbs to my inessential desires to wake up and start my day (3). Throughout my awakening I pursue various inessential desires until, at the end of my awakening (4), I feel the irresistable draw back to sleep (1). This time I cannot suppress my true desire, and I go to sleep (1).
I can visualize my desire progression as the sequence of my desires extending around this cycle, from sleep to sleep (points 1 to 1). Again, my first desire upon awakening is simply to return to the peace from where I came, or relief from the pain of awakening. Once that desires is suppressed, I experience a multiple of intersecting and desires starting with basic physical needs and extending upward to long-term aspirational desires. Eventually, by the end of my awakening, I am unable to resist my original desire and return to sleep.
Importantly, my first and last desire are my one essential desire interrupted by the illness of awakening. All middle desires are intrusions upon my peace, serving the illusion of relief, but ultimately falling short and prolonging my awakenings. My essential desire, before all others, is my desire for permanent, lasting peace. All other desires I experience in life can only deliver transitory relief before vanishing.
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