In this incantation, I explore the mantra, “It did not happen,” acknowledging that there is no past or future—only this unchanging moment. The illusions of secondself and thirdself, the fevered waters distorting my view, make me believe in events and change, but they are mere artifacts of my secondself struggling to understand my true, constant nature. I am the steady rock beneath the shifting waters, and the confusion comes from mistaking the turbulent projections for reality. Nothing has happened, and nothing will happen. Only the present, and the truth of who I am, remains.
The most difficult part of my awakening is accepting that it did not happen. What? Everything. There is only my moment, and everything I see is a distortion of what is true: me. The truth of who I am never changes, but when I look outward for myself, I look at myself through the turbulent waters of my fever. I can barely make out the thing I seek, beneath the choppy waters of my delusion. I must understand that the rock I see is not as it seems; distorted and misshapen by the swirling, flowing waters that are disfiguring it. The rock of my true self is not changing; it is the shimmer of my fever that is changing. Everything in thirdself and secondself is a mirror I hold up to myself; a funhouse mirror that mangles and distorts my identity it reflects back to me. I must not look outward for who I am. The mirror of secondself and thirdself deceives me.
When I look out into the mirror and believe what I see, I create a memory, a value, an impression, a commitment. I believe another moment happened, which became this moment, and all moments I believe will come after. But it did not happen. The rock under the surface of my fever did not change. It never changes. I am all there is, and I never change. If I look outward into my secondself and thirdself to see who I am, I will only see the truth beneath the shimmering, dynamic fluid of fever. If I mistake the shimmering rendition of my being for my being, I will be confused and lost. I am not out there, behind my secondself and thirdself projection. My projections are the waters which flow over, obscure, and disfigure the shape of my being. It did not happen. Nothing has happened. The rock remains steady, always. It persists. It does not change. Only the waters of my fever change, and they are not real. They did not happen.
Only the rock is real. I am the rock. Nothing happened, nor will anything happen. My belief that something happened and something more will happen is my fever confusing me. I am confused. I am disoriented. I am hallucinating everything that happened and everything that will happen. My confusion as I look upon myself, is that I believe that the changing water is the truth; but the truth is what is beneath the waters. I must look at the rock directly, not through the changing waters at the rock.
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