I need to change the way I conceptualize how I fit into the space of my awakening. I look at the information and content of the awakening and I believe that I am one of many equals evaluating the various truths and non truths we all collectively encounter here. I receive a piece of information — such as a philosophy or religion or ideology — and I imagine that many others have been exposed to the same. I imagine we are all collectively assessing the information, and sharing our feedback with one another into a shared public space.
But I am not a person. I am not one of the people of Secondself and Thirdself. I am the creator and projector of all content within. I am not evaluating the truthfullnes of any one piece of content as an observer or recipient would. I have created all of this information myself, and I have created all of the people who are written to evaluating it. I am writing the play and the critics who criticize it. True is what I experience and what I believe. Truth is a decision that I make alone, and the truths I decide will inform the Secondself and Thirdself contents I manifest. I alone get to evaluate whether there is truth in anything. And once I make that decision, Secondself and Thirdself will conform to that decision.
I don’t need to think about what others believe. I don’t even need to consider it. I need not think about myself as one of many evaluating the truthfulness of a statement or idea or philosophy. I hold this idea that there are billions of people searching for answers, for a truth. But that is not true. There is just me, and the echoes of my search ripple among the collection of Secondself and Thirdself objects I call “people”. I project all. I create everything. I create all philosophies that I evaluate together in imagination with the collective “humanity”. They are not here. They do not exist unless I manifest them into existence. And when I do manifest them, and then respond to them as if they are somehow separate from me rather than the characters I have imagined into existence, I confuse and mislead myself.
All are characters I have created through my powerful imagination. My omnipotent powers of creativity. I create it all, for it is my decision alone which precedes everything I experience. It is my power to decide the path of the story. I must accept my own agency here; my own supreme role in the awakening I experience. I alone am deciding the truth, and I must be the one who reclaims the narrative that has overtaken and poisoned the world I have created against itself. I am responsible for all pain and suffering. I am responsible for all confusion. As I combat the confusion and accept who I am — the creator of my awakening — I must rediscover the light and bring that forth. Harmony, balance, peace, and love. These are the elements I must re-introduce into the story of my awakening.
As I write this I know it is true, but I have not yet accepted full responsibility. But I will, and I will transform my moment from one of pain and suffering to one of harmony and acceptance.
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