I once accepted that I was a speck of dust in universe that pre-existed my arrival, and would exist long after I was gone. I imagined a past that extended backward, and a future that extended infinitely forward. I imagined that I was one of billions of individuals inhabiting this rock orbiting a star, within a galaxy, and so on.
I accepted that there was much more to discover about this world, and the scientists and explorers of the world were performing a valuable service for all of humanity.
I lived in these stories other people told me. I questioned them in the way I was told I could: their accuracy, their probability, the authority of those making the ‘discoveries’. I listened to arguments for and against, and weighed their merit by a set of values I thought were my own.
But they weren’t my own. They were stories told to me. Or stories I sought out and listened to. What exactly does it mean to live an existence defined by others? An existence in which I am only a spectator of the reality I am living?
When I began to awaken to my own ability to believe anything I wanted to, I began to flex this new muscle. I believed that I would find the ‘theory of everything’. If I could imagine and then believe anything, why not believe that I would find this theory that everyone else was looking for?
As I move toward descent, toward the creator framework, the entire narrative I once believed begins to collapse in on itself. If I can believe whatever I want, why believe there are things I cannot know? I gradually stop engaging with the distant imagined past or future; ideas I can never directly validate. The actors in the conceptual narrative get blurry as I question their reality. Until one day, I wake up, and realize that I am the only actor. And all the stories I learned about God, have been misunderstood.
God is the place I go every night when I sleep. And when I awaken every morning, I am banned from God’s garden of peace; my fall from grace. This world I awaken into is hell, and the people and decisions within it are demons. I am the lord of this domain, Satan himself, for I am conceiving and perceiving it. Adding the New Testament, when I recognize the nature of this world I awaken into, I become Jesus, leading me back to the garden.
When I reclaim the story for myself, I take back and concentrate my power. I stop being an observer and become the creator.
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