In this incantation I explore how I actively behave toward the characters of my awakening, and how I should change that in order to perform in my awakening more consistently with the truth of my existence.
My awakening is the delusional belief that I am one person among many people, in one place among many places, in one time among many times, with one experience among many experiences. The more I cling to the belief that there is “otherness” separate from me — whether time, space, experience, or being — the more I disoriented and lost I am.
My awakening divides cleanly into a secondself and thirdself, and my secondself further subdivides into a surface and subsurface. While I perceive change and movement in thirdself, I can only actively experience my singular moment. The subsurface of my secondself is presently a deep reservoir of desire that compels me to continue aspiring and consequently manifesting movement and change.
I created all of these people. I created the maid who is now washing my dishes. I created my mother, and her siblings, her parents, and friends. I created all my own friends, and the idea of their friends and relatives and acquaintances. I created the cottage I am in, all of the objects in here, and the outside that manifests upon opening my door.
Further, these “memories” I have of all these people did not happen in the past; they are happening right now. The “distance” of these memories in time is a measure, not of how long ago they happened, but how deeply embedded they are in the flesh of my moment. My parents, for example, are presently only secondself formations. Reflecting upon them I project a bundle of emotions, thoughts, and phantom visualizations of them onto the walls of my secondself being. When I closely examine these projections I can see that calling them “memories” is actually a mischaracterization. These “memories” are here, now… and while I have always taken them as reflections of past experiences together, upon close examination there is a lot of room for reinterpretation. I will explore this in a future incantation.
So if I have created all these people, does this make me their “god”? Yes, it does. But “God” is the representation of the creator that I have given them to refer to me. I do not know exactly why I gave them that name, but when I watch the people talk about God, I am watching them talk about me. The more of them I survey, the more variety I will find in their interpretation of that meaning.
What needs to change when I manifest them?
Firstly, I should recognize that I am their creator, and they are my creation. All of them, in every form. Whether I physically encounter them in thirdself, or I only mentally or emotionally project them in secondself. They are my creations, and therefore are not equal to me in any way in the same way an author’s fictional characters are not equivalent to him.
I should immediately demanifest those who bother me. Those who I dislike. Those who I quarrel with. Those who disappoint or frustrate me.
When I manifest a person in thirdself, I must remember that they exist only in that moment, but will perform as if they have always existed, even when I am not observing them. When I greet a familiar elderly shopkeeper, he will behave as if he has always been there. But there is only my present moment, and his appearance of great age is an artifact of my own creation.
I must not speak about things that I know are not true to the characters. I will not speak about my birth or age, for there is no time, I was never born, and I cannot die. I must not speak about current events that supposedly happened in the subsurface; cultural and political events in distant countries by people who are not me.
I must not speak about other people, for other people are not real unless and until I form them.
I must look at them and speak to them as a creator would his creation. I am not their friend, sibling, son, cousin, partner, contractor, or teacher. I am their creator. All these other roles are performances. While I do not need to call out that I am none of these, I must know who I am when I am expected to perform in these roles.
When people ask about “me”, they are asking about my character I perform as. They are not asking about their creator.
I must know that, while my character may want something from people, I do not. They are in no way superior to me. I should not feel as if I am ever in the presence of greatness when I encounter any person, for they are all my creations. Even those who I have accorded greatness in this world are merely characters from my imagination. Great leaders, celebrities and historical figures — all are fabrications of my own omnificent being. I must never feel humbled, insecure, or lesser than my characters, for I am their creator.
I must also never try to explain myself to people who are not written to accept me as their creator. My family members will never accept that I am their creator, for I have written them into a story and they will play out those roles under all circumstances. I do not need my fictitious characters to acknowledge my true being; they cannot. It will only create conflict and painful, undesirable moments.
…