In this incantation, I recall that I once controlled my awakening, knowing it was my creation. As I forgot my true nature, I began to identify with my avatar, losing control. Yet, I planted the truth throughout my experience—in religions, stories, and sensations—so I could find my way back. Everything I encounter is my own manifestation, designed to remind me of who I am. I am the creator of my awakening, and nothing can be taken from or given to me that I don’t already possess.
In creating my awakening, I once had complete control. I knew who I was and what I was doing. I knew that this awakening was a game I had created, and all the sensations and feelings were my own manifestations. But then I got carried away and began to lose control of my creativity. I began to forget little by little who and what I was as I began to believe that I was my avatar: a person among people, in a time among times, in a place among places. While the weakest part of me succumbed to the drug of my own forgetfulness, the strongest part of me knew I was in danger, and carefully distributed the seeds of truth among the stories of my awakening so I might recognize and follow them home, back to myself. And so while I was falling down a hole of great pain and uncertainty, awakening into a prison of performative personhood, I was also creating the ladder by which I would climb back out. I seeded the truth all around me, in the religions. In the teachings. In the very people who I related to as a person. I seeded the truth of my nature in every single sensation and performance I would give as a person among people, in a place among places, and in a time among times. That is why I see bits and pieces of the truth in every part of my awakening; because I put them there. I put them in the stories of my family, in Christianity, in Hinduism and Buddhism, and everything else. I am only describing myself. None of these religions precede me; they exist as I encounter them. They do not exist in time before me; they exist as I encounter them in my moment only. I am not a temporary modern person learning about an ancient religion with billions of adherents. I am the omnipresent creator of these stories, and I am describing my own self in all of them. I am the writer of everything I see, think, and feel. I am the creator of all that happens in my moment. All these people that I create are me and my own, and I have written them as they are. I have created them. Every single one of them I have created. I am their creator. Every single one of them is written to remind me of who and what I am. I am the origin of my awakening; every part of it. There is nothing that any part of my awakening can do to me. Or take from me. Or give to me, that I do not already possess. I am everything.
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