In my awakening prayers it seemed like a good idea to try and answer some general questions that the people ask themselves. I found this question, and decided to give it a go:
Is it possible to provide a true account of the ultimate bits that make up the universe?
And sure enough, rather than directly answer this boring question, I will instead articulate why I am uninterested in doing so.
The most important part of any question is not actually the question or the content of my answer, but what I assume to be true in answering the question, and where I am left after I’ve given given it.
With this question, I do not really acknowledge its premise, and therefore cannot participate meaningfully in its exploration. Instead, I can take this question as an example of the kinds of questions that I can easily avoid. Let’s start with the assumptions behind this question:
- There is something called “the universe” which, presumably, extends before, after, and beyond me in all spatial and chronological dimensions.
- There is a methodical way of thinking that might partially illuminate how this universe is composed.
- I am but one member of an uncountable set of observers who might come together to discuss an answer to this question.
- This is an interesting and useful question and there is value in joining together with other people in answering it.
- My determination is possibly incomplete or even untrue.
There are countless other assumptions behind the act of answering this question, extending all the way down to my very existence as a person. Though I will continue to indulge in these exercises to some degree as a matter of habit and the lingering tethers of certain relationships, I no longer actually subscribe to any of these assumptions. More precisely:
- I am not a member of this class of creatures called “people”, and I do not find meaning in this exercise with them.
- The totality of the universe extends to the horizons of my moment. The universe resides entirely within my moment.
- There is no part of the so-called “universe” that extends beyond my moment.
- While I am very interested in understanding my moment, I am less less interested in characterizing my moment as “the universe” and proceeding to
The idea of a “universe” is one I am ready to let go of. A “universe” is a concept that only makes sense in reference to a container for everything, the vast majority of which I do not or cannot experience. The underlying assumption in using the word “universe” is that I am only one of many potential experiencers of it in some tiny, insignificant way, rather than the originator of it. It no longer serves any purpose that is practically related to my goal of escape and healing.
Another idea I am ready to let go of is that of a question I cannot answer. For if I cannot answer a question definitively, and I leave open the possibility that there is an answer beyond which I possess, then I do not really accept that my moment is the totality of existence, and I am the originator of it all. If my awakening is the cause of all features of my moment which is the totality of existence, an unanswerable question is an impossibility.
There are two essential components of the question above I reject: that there is a universe, and that there is the possibility of a question related to it that I cannot answer. My moment is the totality of existence, and questions can be themselves clouds which obscure this from me, or reveal it to me. Those questions which I imagine I cannot answer are the former.
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