The idea of “oneness” as a confusing, nebulous concept is deep-rooted within my moment, difficult to embrace and act on because the strength of my demiselfist convictions that I am one of many people, experiencing one of many places, at one point in a timeline extending into the past and future. But in the selfist model, oneness is easy to imagine, and practical to achieve.
In the selfist model I know there are “layers” to my existence: my thirdself layer extending outward from my body; my secondself layer that extends inward from my body into my mind, emotions, and bodily sensations; and my firstself. My firstself is harder to articulate because I am accustomed to ignoring it. But directly, my firstself is everything, including my secondself and thirdself. To “see” it most clearly I must close my eyes and “sense” the totality of the space around me, excluding my “memory” of the outer world (my thirdself) that I now cannot “see” because my eyes are closed.
All these layers have the same source: me, right here, right now. What is not me, not here, not now, is the shape of my illness. The second place. The distortion. My awakening. The illusion. Whatever I want to call it.
My firstself is oneness. I can understand, visualize, and believe my oneness by solidifying my conviction that:
- … there are no other beings except me
- … there are no other places except here
- … there are no other times except now
There is only me, here, now. The rest which appears to change is the smoldering of my illness, which I experience as desire and movement to satisfy my desire. This movement creates all otherness; otherness being the opposite of oneness. Otherness being the sensation of the second place comprising my secondself and thirdself.
…
I started this incantation by saying that the concept of oneness has long been confusing to me. But since there is no time other than this moment, I am using language that is false. I rewrote this sentence using the idea of depth, which more appropriately expresses my confusion within this moment rather than a timeline extending into the past and future. I clarify this convention in my incantation, Triself conventions.