In this incantation I seek to further solidify my shift away from personal language and toward divine language.
As I practice using divine in place of personal language, I feel my secondself reeling. It is a counter-disorientation; a haloing. In the divine language there is no mental construct of a larger physical space that I traverse. Instead, there is only a fluid-filled sac of flesh within which I manifest the entire “world”. What I call my “face” is the wound; an opening where I create and fill the fluid-filled sack I call thirdself with contents. The “world” and all of its contents are small in relation to my firstself, but also extremely engaging and intoxicating. Thirdself lures me in when I forget what it is, in the same way an addictive drug. And extricating myself from it is the same process as rehabilitating from drug use.
My awakening is the re-opening of my wound through my “face”. The wound fills with fluids that form the content and texture of my awakening thirdself. The contents of my thirdself wound are not separate from me; they are painfully projected extensions of me. They are my own innards stretched and splashed across a cavity within my own flesh.
One of the more important victories of moving to the divine language is the severing of time-based moments. In the personal model I believe that I have committed injustices and misdeeds in an imagined past. I believe that I have wronged certain people. In the divine model these “memories” of past indiscretions are eviscerated, demanifested. I never did anything wrong to anyone. Those indiscretions exist only in my present moment, and as long as I continue to render them from the flesh of my moment, they will persist, along with guilt, shame, self-hatred, and an utterly false sense of self. I am the author, and I have written this entire story and all of its characters, events, and experiences. There are no people separate from me, and anyone I do anything to is me doing it to myself. The people are characters I have written; extensions of my own imagination molded from my own flesh by my own hands.
Part of divine being is secondself repression; constraining my imagination and accepting the shape of my thirdself as it is. I correctly think of thirdself as a projection of secondself, but I imagine that there is more than what I am presently experiencing. This idea of there being more beyond my experience is wrong. While I can and do create different thirdself shapes and textures, they are all fashioned from the same firstself substance. The substance I use to create my temple is the exact same substance I shape into the mountain when I create the outside. The substance of my aloo gobhi is the substance of the starry night. The substance of my contractors and product is the substance of my dog.
There is nothing beyond my present moment and I only have a limited amount of substance with which to fabricate it. My language I use should reflect that truth and not imply that something exists beyond the horizons of my secondself and thirdself chambers. There is no mountain outside of my cottage. My cottage is not on a mountain. I do not go to the restaurant on the ridge. I create the restaurant by creating a door, and fashioning my flesh into a mountain, ridge, and finally the wooden building where I enjoy veg fried momos. To see my divine being I must use divine language that acknowledges that there is nothing beyond my moment except in my imagination.
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