I am in triself as I write this.
While secondself thoughts of people, places, and events vie for my attention and awareness, in triself I remain centered in my moment. I experience a constant pressure around the crown of my head, and I both conceive and perceive that my experience divides into three layers.
My thirdself layer includes my body that I see, and all that extends outward from it. It is a layer of people, places, and things in constant movement. I understand that while I commonly conceive that I am within my thirdself layer, in reality it is within me. It is only ever an oval-shaped display projected in front of me, and “sensed” around me.
Although I once described my inner world of thoughts, feelings, desires, and sensations as being within my thirdself body which is in turn within my thirdself, in triself I know that this is not true. My secondself fully surrounds and envelops my thirdself. I can clearly see that my secondself is the frame for my thirdself.
In the image below of me sitting in my room writing, my secondself forms a complete ring around my thirdself, with various secondself experiences ongoing, interacting with my thirdself. I conceptualize thoughts and ideas which dance around the upper periphery of my visual thirdself. My desires and wants form an aspirational layer, and then my feelings place lower, in what I might call my chest and gut. My secondself sensations extend into my thirdself, forming the calloused barrier I call my body.
I only have to close my eyes and still my secondself emanations to sense the full infinitude of my firstself, which extends outward in all directions, without obstacle, from my secondself. It extends fully and endlessly, and it is clear that my secondself is a small envelope within it, and my thirdself in turn within that. My firstself does not move. There is no time there, nor any desire. There is only me. I am everything. I am the totality of existence.
In triself, I am awake and ill, but I can experience all three layers.
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