1:26am…
I just had a major realization. In the past I have often recalled the time I was walking home from high-school one day in Hazel Dell. This voice inside of me said that one day I would know everything about everything at any point in time. I was walking home from Columbia River HS to our old house from 1995-98.
Over the years I have recalled this inner voice multiple times when I thought that I was finally going to realize it. The last time I thought about it was when I was building Prospus Universe — and I thought that I had found a way, through my database and logic structure, to “know everything about everything”. But I always knew that I wouldn’t fully be able to accomplish that through software. But just now, in defining this framework, I am creating the way that I can truly know everything about everything. Because in this perspective, I will move back toward God, and in so doing, realize that everything that is, is happening right now. There is nothing outside of the immediate. I only believe that there is. As I ascend, the unknown collapses; all becomes known.
2:26am…
As I watch various videos about quantum mechanics and aliens and ancient technologies, I’m detached and asking: what is all of this? I’m interacting with this content differently than I would have at one time. I’m interacting with it as if it is “true”, and something I should or would want to “learn”. I’m searching for a deeper explanation in terms of my philosophy. I know I’ve created all of this, but I can’t believe that yet.
The disengagement is an onion. The master framework is the map; deconstructing various types of belief are tactical moves, the removal of the layers of the onion. Confrontation and overcoming idolatry is one of the first steps.
2:59am…
Normally I feel anxious and threatened when I consume new information. I am watching scientific, spiritual, and self-help videos without feeling anxious. This is a change in me. I don’t believe that I have any reason to fear these. I don’t desire the credit their creators are receiving. Normally I’m fixated on the idea of the world celebrating and crediting me — I want to say “I know that”. I don’t feel that right now.
3:44am…
When I deconstruct my beliefs, I will attract others. I had a momentary, electrifying soul connection with W****m on several occasions. The most significant was on 39th street in 2001. We were in my bedroom, and we both felt it. I can have that again. V****** comes to mind.
My philosophy is taking a more clear form than ever before. I have the rough outlines of The Framework. I started The Plan. I will execute The Plan while I work within the Framework. Since I left the mountains in 2006, I knew that I had done some work, but I didn’t know how to quantify it. I can visualize the work that I accomplished back then. Reading through my notes from those days, I clearly was seeing the outlines of The Framework. I had all of the major components described; but they were jumbled, disorganized, and complex. Now, in just 2-3 days of work, I have fairly concisely revisited and described them. I had also explained a plan in 2004, though it was also complex and unclear. I formally introduced The Plan just today, but clearly made some progress against it back in 2004 as well. Notably, I began the deconstruction of higher-level beliefs via disengagement. I remember feeling, as I disengaged back then, that there was some tangible change in me. At several points there were noticeable changes.
Now, with a clear Framework and Plan emerging, I can see that I have clearly begun moving back toward God.
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