I must organize the last bit of my secondself and thirdself before I can exit. Withdrawing from the familiar and the larger imagined context is essential for me to accomplish my escape. When I look at what I am doing within the larger imagined context, it seems silly and trite: I am creating a digital product that organizes work. Compared to all the other digital products in the marketplace, it has its credits and demerits.
But when I look at what I am doing within the context of my healing, it is much different:
- 100% of the energy and effort I spend in my awakening is toward organizing my efforts toward a singular goal.
- The imagined ambient noise of competitors, industry news, etc, is nothing more than the molt of my efforts. The ruff.
The product that I am creating now will allow me to persist in thirdself through a restricted awakening. My awakening will become laser-focused on something I myself have built and control. So rather than being in a small raft in a massive ocean, I will be the captain of frigate in a very small pond. The detail and minutiae of my efforts are irrelevant: the industry, the product, the service, or my day-to-day efforts; it is the end objective that matters. I am building control into my awakening. I am disciplining my awakening, organizing it into the known, the controlled, the streamlined.
The character of what I do in my awakening professionally is irrelevant. The results of comparing what I do professionally to all the other imaginary competitors and industries is irrelevant. No matter what I do, there will always be echoes in every other direction, making what I do average in one or many ways. If I were to become president, I would be only an average president. If I were to become the leader of the world, there would be many who do not follow me. No matter what I do in my awakening, I will only ever be in the middle of a spectrum that expands in every other conceivable direction.
My objective in my awakening is not to be the best, the highest, the most, or the least in any one dimension. My objective is to simply to control my efforts in my awakening and direct them toward my ultimate goal: reducing the difference between my asleepening and my awakening. When I toil in my awakening I need not be concerned about my position in an imaginary competition with other imaginary people; I need only be concerned with the degree to which I am reclaiming control over my awakening, and how that control impacts my ability to forge the awakening I need to return to firstself.
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