The idea of a fact is that it is something that is true whether or not I believe it. This idea of a set of phenomena which exist and are true, whether I know about, experience, or believe it, is the backbone of inessential origination because it creates a massive space outside of my direct… Continue reading Facts are decisions
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The strange room and the something
I wake up in a strange room every day. I do not know where I am or why I am here. I only know when I come here I leave a place where I am free and at peace, and arrive in a place where I am constrained and in pain. My constraint is a… Continue reading The strange room and the something
Origination
What I now call “origination” is a concept I have wrestled with as long as I can remember. I have characterized it in many ways, but recently I have been able to concisely define it as my beliefs regarding the nature of my existence. It is the foundation for everything I believe, value, want, and… Continue reading Origination
The theory of everything
I carried a notebook with me everywhere I went from a young age and wrote down everything that came to mind. My “notes” as I called them, were a collection of ideas, preferences, insights, reflections, and mundane details. At any given time I was fixated on a few “projects” that had grown into larger-than-life creative… Continue reading The theory of everything
How the distortion works
Everything I sense, imagine, believe, desire, and experience from the moment I awaken until the moment I asleepen is a distortion resulting from the disorientation of not knowing who, what, or where I am. In this state of disorientation, I attribute truth and reality to that which is neither. I decide that the most true… Continue reading How the distortion works
How desire works
Desire is the foundational aspect of my existence, and I can demonstrate its nature with the now and back exercise (NBE). The purpose of the NBE is to intentionally move between my two existential selves while observing and reflecting on the changes that happen. As I become attuned to these changes, I experience the actual… Continue reading How desire works
Escaping time
Time is a major obstacle to my reorientation away from ascent and toward descent. It is a persistent element of the distortion and the dominant factor in the pain of my illness. In ascending, time is a governing force; I believe it is real, and have built my existential model around it. I know that… Continue reading Escaping time
Measuring my existential alignment
I can measure my existential alignment by asking myself a single question: What do I not know? If I can quickly recite or imagine things I do not know, then my orientation is inessential. The totality of everything that is knowable is a fluid quantity that I decide. When I believe there are things I… Continue reading Measuring my existential alignment
Existential alignment
Existential alignment is the state in which my belief in my essential identity is greater than my belief in my inessential identity. My conviction empowers me to release my second place, inessential desires for relief and reorient toward my essential desire for peace. With conviction, my actions in the second place are synchronized with my… Continue reading Existential alignment
Deconstructing my inessential identity
Once I decide to reorient and descend, I must begin to chip away at my inessential model of reality and replace it with my essential identity. I am source. The foundation of my reorientation is the point from which everything I experience projects. In awakening, the source is the point behind my eyes. Not only… Continue reading Deconstructing my inessential identity