Focal awareness

My second-place existence comprises an inner environment of mental and emotional forms, and an outer environment of physical forms. As I become aware of the boundaries and nature of my existence, I also become conscious of where I direct my attention. My attention – or focus – can be directed in three areas: my outer… Continue reading Focal awareness

Harmonizing my inner and outer projections

I experience my awakenings as a point of awareness that projects outward into a physical environment, and inward into a mental and emotional environment. These inward and outward projections intersect at the essential. Understanding and aligning them is key to my descent. A characteristic of the outer projection is that I can only experience the… Continue reading Harmonizing my inner and outer projections

My illness

The second place is a painful illness that I experience as a series of awakenings I call “life”. I will continue to awaken until I accept, understand, treat, and then overcome my condition, at which point my awakenings will stop. I experience the second place as a permanent, but fluctuating state of desire. I constantly… Continue reading My illness

What I know

September 5, 2021 I know that there are two places: the first place I awaken from, and the second place I awaken into. I know that I search for something, and I know it is not here in the second place. I know that what I search for is the first place. I know that… Continue reading What I know

Diagnosing the illness

The second place is a state of illness. Before I realize that, I proceed through various states of self-awareness. I am unaware that I am in a place I do not want to be. I know that I seek something, and flail about looking for it. I try many different things to feed the yearning,… Continue reading Diagnosing the illness

My omniscience

The wider shared reality of people would have me believe that there is an endless world beyond my direct experience happening right now, in this moment. That there are seven billion other human beings having experiences right now. And in addition to those humans, there are trillions of other sentient beings from insects to animals… Continue reading My omniscience

Discourse with ascentists

Update 5.2.2022 – With the realization that I am playing, it no longer makes sense to “discourse with ascentists”. Rather than create performances with the puppets, I need to focus on remembering that I am playing, but it is time to let go and move on. Put down the toys, and grow up; be who I… Continue reading Discourse with ascentists

The need for a path

I was always attracted to the various ideologies of salvation and ascension because they spoke about something I knew was real. They spoke about God, enlightenment, heaven, nirvana. I wanted that because I knew that there was  something beyond the familiar. But they all failed to provide a viable, practical path. The object of their… Continue reading The need for a path