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I imagine I am moving forward in time, repeating certain activities and experiences. But I am not moving anywhere. I am fixed right here at the place and the now that never changes. But there is no place nor is there a time where I am. So I am not here and now so much… Continue reading Memory

I have spent a lifetime searching for the fundamental answer that clearly, instantly, and conclusively resolves every question I have. I have called it by many different names, and even believed I had found it on more than one occasion. But what seemed whole was always exposed as incomplete. With this post, I term this… Continue reading The existential primitive

What do I seek? I seek being. What is being? Being is what comes after knowing. Being is not the question. It is not the answer. Being is the absence of the need to question, for I find the entire answer in being. In being, I am not lost. I know where I am so… Continue reading Freedom and the fall

My awakening moment is a state of dissatisfaction. I always want something, but what?  My desire is a lock, and my convictions are the key to opening it. I spend my awakening moment in search of the right moves to open it and release the treasure inside. The actions I take stem from my conviction… Continue reading Desire is the lock

An effective incantation is one that draws me outward from my inessential becoming and into my essential being. In other words, from second and thirdself to firstself awareness. My incantations are most effective when they reduce and simplify because they allow me to constrain my inward emanation and concentrate my awareness in my moment. I… Continue reading Incantation to understand

My illness hides behind familiarity and ignorance. A lifetime of awakenings obscures its true nature from me. I awaken into the familiarity of my thirdself surroundings, forgetting that my only purpose is to heal. Forgetting that I do not want to be here. Forgetting that I yearn for the peace of reunion. In forgetting, I… Continue reading Seeing the body of my illness

May 30, 2022. Prior to this post, I have used the word “uniself” to refer to my state of identifying as a single person among others. In this post, I have officially replaced the word “uniself” with “demiself”, which is a more accurate description of the state. Emanation is my inward projection of the second place… Continue reading Formal continuity

A key component of my identity throughout my life has been the notion that I was somehow different, and even “greater than” other people. On many occasions, I remember thinking that other peoples’ beliefs and ideas were inferior to my own. I expressed this conviction as a strong inward and outward confidence. What I did… Continue reading Understanding my uniself aspiration for greatness

In the selfist model there are two general forms of knowing: Uniself Knowledge In uniself, I believe there is an evolving set of knowable things. I am accustomed to believing that I know a growing percentage of what is knowable on a topic or range of topics. Because the totality of what is knowable is… Continue reading Selfist forms of knowledge

I see the world through an oval window. No matter where I look, the world is constrained to the same fixed, ovular shape. My arms and legs reach like roots through the window and into the world I always see stretching before me. I close my eyes and the world in the window disappears. I… Continue reading My experience is the foundation of truth