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The surface of my awakening is my sensation and imagination. I am the imaginer. There is nothing beyond my imagination. My imagination is the horizon of existence, ebbing and flowing, fluctuating and pulsating with my own fever. My awakening is my experience, my existence, the totality of existence. Everything I sense and imagine is the… Continue reading The surface of my awakening

It has taken me a long time to find the right word for it. I tried to use “god”, but it is a thirdself formation with heavy encumbrances. And while I like words like “universe”, “source”, and the “infinite”, they are also laden with unwanted connotations. The word that best captures the final state I… Continue reading My omniself

I have everything I need to know everything. What I lack is my trust that I have everything I need. Until I trust that I have everything I need to know everything, I will doubt who I am. The simplest test of my conviction is to close my eyes. The world disappears (my thirdself). It… Continue reading My omnificence

When I see a house, I do not look inside. I do not imagine what is inside. I do not want what is inside. When I see a bird, I do not imagine where it came from. I do not imagine where it is going. I do not imagine what it is. I do not… Continue reading When I see a house

The fundamental principle of the selfist model is that the entire truth can be directly and instantly known to me in my moment. Though this is a simple statement, it is packed with meaning, which I will explain in a separate piece. But assuming this is true, what is next? What’s next is a simple… Continue reading The starting point

I have always liked the idea of meditation. And though I appreciated the form, I could not comprehend its purpose on a practical level. I understood the usefulness of calming my mind and managing my stress. But somehow, I always sensed that managing my anxiety would be like managing my drowning; I wanted to understand… Continue reading Purposeful meditation

The Selfist Model is the result of my lifelong search for a complete explanation of my existence. What is a “complete explanation”? It is one fundamental answer with one practical purpose: guide me what to do. It is not an intellectual exercise, or a philosophy to discuss with the people of my thirdself. I want… Continue reading Introducing the selfist model, again

I always had a puritanical streak; a desire to “be good”. I did not always know what this was. I have always remained aloof. I never joined groups, or gotten involved with people. In my youth I had an internal alarm system that rang when I moved too far away from some inner center. In… Continue reading The process of withdrawal

I have friends, and people who I admire and care for. I feel warmth when I see acts of kindness and generosity between people. I abhor suffering and will go to great lengths to help anyone I come across who is in need or distress. These are all feelings of endearment, appreciation, empathy, and fraternity.… Continue reading People are ghouls

May 30, 2022. Before this post, I used the word “uniself” to refer to my state of identifying as a single person among others. In this post, I have officially replaced the word “uniself” with “demiself”, which is a more accurate description of the state. If contemplation is the intellectual search for answers, then meditation… Continue reading Selfist meditation