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When I began my search for an understanding of my life, I would occasionally but irregularly happen upon a thought or reflection that would arouse a sensation of centeredness, revelation, and even epiphany. Compared to the rest of my daily life, these moments were clarified and energetic, giving me the sense I could see further… Continue reading Selfist switching

I awaken believing that I am a person experiencing an inner space of thoughts, desires, and feelings, within a larger world full of other people experiencing the same. This is a delusion that hides my true nature as the creator lost within my creation. The one constant in my awakening is desire, and everything I… Continue reading The selfist incantation

In selfism, I know that I am experiencing personhood. And my experience of personhood is one of pain, suffering, illness, and conflict. I am god experiencing personhood. In demiself, I descend further into my personhood. But once I feel the pull to stop, turn around, and return, I know that everything I have believed up… Continue reading Unless it is related to my release, I do not seek truth

In the demiselfist model, I accept that truth is a property of being in accordance with reality. But who decides what reality is? In demiself, reality is defined by a variety of authorities who are not me. That is the defining quality of all demiself authorities: they are not me. And consequently, I do not… Continue reading That I believe precedes what I believe

Two days ago I sat with someone I know at a local restaurant. We spoke about our experiences in India, and why we came here. She acknowledged she came in search of a deeper spiritual purpose, but as she got older she has gotten pulled away from that search. She expressed what most do: there… Continue reading The selfist model is a vessel

I am in a peaceful, timeless place I call the first place. I am everything. I have no desire, no responsibilities. There is no past or future. Everything is perfect because there is nothing I want that I do not have. I do not want or desire. I sense a tug, which grows into a… Continue reading The progression

Space is both the most elementary but also most challenging part of the illusion of my awakening. Elementary because I know I am experiencing it every moment, but challenging because this familiarity has given rise to a deep misunderstanding of its nature. But understanding space is critical to being able to visualize triself. Let’s define… Continue reading What is space?

This is the most effective mantra I have yet found: There is only me here now. When I incant it, It clearly exposes all the ways in which I emanate into my secondself and thirdself and assists me in withdrawing back to my firstself. Me. In the course of my awakening I accept that there… Continue reading There is only me now here: the centering mantra

Truth is most fundamental concept and essential to successfully overcoming my condition of awakening. But in my awakening I have allowed it to become corrupted and slip away from my possession in three important ways: I falsely imagine that truth is a quality of knowledge, rather than knowledge being a quality of truth. I falsely… Continue reading Repossessing truth

The idea of “oneness” as a confusing, nebulous concept is deep-rooted within my moment, difficult to embrace and act on because the strength of my demiselfist convictions that I am one of many people, experiencing one of many places, at one point in a timeline extending into the past and future. But in the selfist… Continue reading Firstself and oneness