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When I awaken, I am experiencing my transition from godhood to personhood. Awakening is the process of shifting away from Being, to believing I am a person. My personhood is an illness I experience as “life” in this “world”. As long as I believe I am a person living a life in this world, I… Continue reading Awakening is my transition from godhood to personhood

Who I am, and who I believe I am, are at odds, creating a rift I experience as awakening into my life of desire. The selfist model is the path to rediscovering, believing, and being who I am by understanding and redirecting my desire.  Who I believe I am I believe that I am a… Continue reading The Selfist Model, Part I

August 28, 2022 Who I am, and who I believe I am, are at odds, creating a rift I experience as an awakening into my life of desire. The selfist model is the path to rediscovering, believing, and being who I am by understanding and redirecting my desire.  Who I believe I am I believe… Continue reading What I Know

I have believed that truth is something absolute, factual, and certain and over which I have no control. I have believed that the arbiters of truth are experts following a process to a logical conclusion, which is then shared with me to guide me and correct my misunderstandings. I have believed that these experts are… Continue reading Redefine truth to repossess it

I know things. I know that I am right here, right now. I know that I can go outside and see the Himalayas. I know that I will eat in a few hours, and sleep in about 12 hours. I know that I will wake up here again tomorrow, and I know the sun will… Continue reading Knowledge potency

My repossession is the process of re-conceiving all aspects of existence around my own experience, away from an imaginary existence independent of me. In demiself, I imagine I leave my house and go to an outside that pre-existed my going there. But that is imaginary. Remember that I know everything; I am omniscient. For there… Continue reading Repossession: I create as I experience

Familiarity is one of the strongest symptoms of my delusion. Due to familiarity, I am unable to see the release I desire in the commonplace. I look into the forms of my thirdself, manifesting deep existential holes I get lost in. I see a person, and I manifest a history, personality, background, and attraction. But… Continue reading The familiarity delusion

Escape is everything. I only want to escape my awakening. But when I awaken and I get lost, I forget my desire to escape. Everything I need to know about this place I can derive from my desire to escape. That I must escape is the only action I must take here. What I seek… Continue reading I must escape

Awakening is painful. The fire of desire smolders within my secondself, always looking for an outlet. When I do not attend to it, it roars and burns my tender parts, always pushing me forward, deeper into the world I manifest in search of that which will never satisfy it. When I know who I am,… Continue reading The way to be

People are merely shapes and forms I project onto the internal walls of my being. People are the characters in the story I write every moment. People are tiny microscopic shapes I can magnify whenever I choose. Formations that come in and out of my experience. A person is only what I conceive and perceive.… Continue reading How people matter