Category: Uncategorized

I just asked this question of myself: Is what I seek in front of me, or is it behind me? I know that answer: what I seek is behind “me”. Behind the actor occupying this body. Behind the being pretending to be a person. The performer believes that what I seek is in front of… Continue reading Another inversion: the direction of my desire

The people are masters of deception. They are deceivers of me. Deceivers I have created. They are projections I have created to deceive myself into believing that I am one of them. They are good performers, for I have crafted them with care to be so. But some among them — right now only one… Continue reading Ask them

One of my creations, a person, asked me what I do in prayer. What do I do, in prayer? I asked myself. He suggestively asked if I wrote about my day. No, I do not write about my day. There are occasions I write about my day, in the sense of my experience pretending to… Continue reading The purpose of prayer

I know that it is just me here, and that all these desires I have are merely the infection of an illness I call the awakening. I have a disease, which I experience as awakening and moving throughout a world. In this awakening my identity is inverted: I believe that I am a creation, when… Continue reading The inversion

I want only one thing: to be whole again. To return to the state where I am who I truly am. To escape this hellish illness where I have convinced myself I am a person in a world, for I know that is not true. The game is up: I have found the most potent… Continue reading What I want and how I get it

I awaken every day and I express the same sentiments on the walls of my prison. I change the prose, the perspective, always in an effort to simplify and reduce. My goal is simple: remember who I am, where I am, and escape this place I awaken into. I will write on the walls of… Continue reading The writing on the wall

My moment was recently interrupted by what I once called “disappointment”. I had expended a great deal of energy moving toward a thirdself goal, and had created a caravan of popular support toward that end. I had been fanning but controlling the excitement behind like a conductor: this is what we want. But what I… Continue reading The purpose of disappointment

The midplace is the space between the first place and the second place. The first place is where I am whole and unencumbered by my awakening experience; where I am God. I can best understand it as the place I am when I am sleeping. The second place is my awakening moment of secondself and… Continue reading The midplace

I have resisted most concepts that originated outside of me, in my thirdself. Why? The contents of my thirdself are a confusing regurgitation. I myself created them, yet when I consume them without realizing or believing that, then I am bound for confusion. So it is my conviction while I consume the artifacts of my… Continue reading Origination and confusion

My thirdself — the world — will end, and I be its destroyer. This is how I will end it. I will first reposition myself as the center of my thirdself. In my moment now, I still do not fully accept my centrality and authorship. My secondself growth still weighs heavily upon me; its weight… Continue reading How I will end the world