Category: Uncategorized

My greatest self-deception is convincing myself that I did not create the world I awaken into.

I have two sets of eyes, though I commonly only think of the ones I see in a mirror: my thirdself eyes. My thirdself eyes — or my outer eyes — are the holes through which I experience my thirdself. They are the portal from my secondself space of thoughts, feelings, sensations, and desires to… Continue reading My secondself eye

Seeing is believing, and believing is seeing. I can see who I am by closing my eyes and returning to my moment. As I let go of my secondself and thirdself constructs — the visual and sensational horizons of my thirdself, and the notional horizons of my secondself — I can believe that I am… Continue reading Seeing who I am

My moment is my true location. My true identity. My authentic nature. I might say that my moment is the center of my being, but that would imply that there is something outside and beyond my center when there is not. There is nothing beyond my moment, however there is the sensation that there is… Continue reading Where is my moment

Triself is the three distinct layers of my being I experience in my awakening. The three layers all mold together into one experience, but each plays a different role. My existential dysmorphia arises Thirdself-constrained isolation is seclusion with the intention of constraining my thirdself. Thirdself constraint is essentially closing out the motion and change of… Continue reading Thirdself-constrained isolation

My repossession continues. I often still clarify that a point is from “my perspective” in contrast to another person’s or group’s perspective. This language reinforces the imaginary construct that I and people are of the same category, which we are not. People are manifestations of my secondself and thirdself; they are projections I fully control.… Continue reading How people and water are the same

I am skeptical about the parasite construct. My goal is to craft a definition of my awakening that is so clear and concise it directly lines up with my actual experience. I have created an isolated hermitage that allows me to filter out all non-essential distractions, including light, people, motion, and all the change that… Continue reading Skeptical about the parasite

Many years ago I imagined a scenario that was very much the equivalent of the tree falling in the forest with no one to hear it. But where that riddle questions nature of events gone unobserved by an imaginary plurality of people, this one constrains it to the singular I. I can jump into the… Continue reading See this and see the inconsistency

Now that I see the Parasite for what it is, I can begin the process of reconceptualizing my awakenings in these terms. It is a systematic effort, and one I have done many times with the various changes to my ideology. A simple shift in the basis can have dramatic effects on the conclusions I… Continue reading I will not die, but my Parasite will

Ten or eleven days ago I began cloistering. Since then I have not left my cottage or interacted with people beyond two visitors who occasionally visit. Seclusion is not new to me, but self-isolating in a completely darkened thirdself chamber with intention to self-constrain is a new experience. It has been beneficial in many ways… Continue reading Ten days of self-constraint