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My true self — my omniself — is dimensionless. I can experience the true shape of my being at any time by closing my eyes and quieting all distractions. That silence and absence of any change and movement is equivalent to the same moment when my secondself and thirdself are exploding deep into their respective… Continue reading My moment is the container of my awakened self

Nearly two years ago I defined existential alignment as the state in which my essential identity and my actions in my awakening are aligned. While my older incantations stand true, there are important details left unwritten. I have not added much to the concept of existential alignment, but with my recent expression of truth in… Continue reading Existential realignment

There are a few concepts that, while critical to my healing, are simultaneously obstacles. The dual concepts of truth and reality are two such. Truth are stories which I believe are actual, and reality is the collection of those truths. The problem enters when I consider relativism. What is true to me, may or may… Continue reading Potency

I first accept that I am ill. That my awakening moment is unwanted, and that I seek to end this experience of repeatedly waking up and performing personhood. I accept that my healing is not found in my awakening because my awakening itself is the sickness. I can explain my awakening in as many ways… Continue reading Truth as potency

If I truly am the creator of this entire awakening experience, and I truly desire to not desire and escape, then I must commit to it. I am not committing. I am dancing around the edges. I can feel myself starting and stopping. I make some progress, then regress. I repeated this with every week… Continue reading My conduct

There are a few core tenants of the true perspective. My being does not begin with birth and end with death. I sense that I have always been here because I always have been here and always will be here. Though I might assume that my existence began with my first memories, that is not… Continue reading The true perspective

I am the totality of everything there is, and everything my moment contains is all there is. That means that my moment contains everything that exists. There is nothing other than or beyond what I experience. However I am so accustomed to thinking there is something beyond my direct experience that I find it challenging… Continue reading The subsurface of my moment

There is something I am missing, and I think it has to do with diving too deeply. I am diving into the water and forgetting that I have done so. I am busy describing all the various features of the experience of being in the water, forgetting that I am not actually in it. That… Continue reading The water is calm until I jump in

I have many attachments in my awakening that I would not want to let go of. Attachments that would cause great pain if I were to lose. But I must prepare to let go of even those things, relationships, possessions, aspirations, and experiences that I treasure if I am to heal completely and escape. I… Continue reading How letting go feels

My thirdself manifestation is often a step ahead of me. What do I mean by that? I’ll start at the beginning. I awaken into this performance. I leave omniself, where I am whole and complete and at peace. Heaven, or the garden I might call it. I arrive here, in the “world”, in this “body”,… Continue reading I identify as god