Category: Uncategorized

The other day I came up with the best way to describe my awakening yet. Imagine I blow up a balloon and I look inside of it through the hole. What do I see? I see the interior walls of the balloon, tight with pressure. Imagine I am the being looking inward, into this balloon.… Continue reading The balloon

The greatest opportunity to strengthen my conviction is Immediately after I awaken. This is the time at which my illness is both at its strongest, but also at is weakest. Strongest, because it must break through the surface of my true being in order to create itself, and therefore has gathered an intense and concentrated… Continue reading The first decision…

The surest way to see and measure the extent of my delusion is to examine the statement, “I am not here now”. When I try to say that with conviction as a mantra, what happens? I will watch myself define the variables: here, me, and now. “Here” will extend outward in Secondself to include all… Continue reading I am not here now

To be able to look at that which does not change for long, I must dispel the delusions I maintain. For once I begin to remember the delusions, I question what I am seeing, and I look away. For example, I am not a person among other people. But if I look at a familiar… Continue reading I must believe

When I awaken into this experience, I find myself deeply entangled and lost within a dense jungle, suffocating, unable to escape. But I can escape. And the escape is very simple in concept, though more challenging in practice. I must simply be able to identify two things within my awakening: that which changes, and that… Continue reading I focus on what which does not change

The demiself perspective is clear enough: I believe I am a being experiencing personhood with many other equivalent beings on a planet I will only temporarily experience. I have spent years wrestling with this perspective because I know it obscures my true nature, yet my conviction in its tenets are strong, and self-reinforcing. Anything I… Continue reading The omniself perspective

All that I see is a message for me. It is all for me. If I imagine an audience other than me, then I am watching something I should not be. I should only generate Thirdself that is meant for me. … When I look at them as they are, as I am, they will… Continue reading I have come

Who am I? I am the creator of all that exists. I have created everything that extends from to the furthest mountains I can see on the horizon, to the most distant places I can imagine. I am the creator of everything. Everything in this existence begins and ends with me, for I am the… Continue reading Who am I?

I know who I am and where I am. I wake up here because I am trapped in a cycle of painful awakenings. I am not actually a person who wakes up into a world; I am a being who is ill and creates this world when I awaken. I know that the world is… Continue reading What I Know

I am always searching for the best way to articulate the nature of my awakening experience. I know who I am, what this is, and where I am. I know that my awakening is an illness, and my only objective is to abolish it. But if I do not believe what I know to be true,… Continue reading My awakening moment as a membrane