Category: Uncategorized

What do I know? I know that I am all there is. I know that I have a strong desire for something; and I know that there are two approaches to satisfying that desire: I can pursue temporary relief, or permanent release. I know that relief will never satisfy my desire, but release will. I… Continue reading What I know… I have seen this before

I am not awake, and I am not here. I am not a person among people in a larger place with a history that preceded me and a future that will carry on after me. I am the beginning and ending of this place. This place does not exist unless I believe I awaken and… Continue reading I am not awake, I am the author

What am I? How am I shaped? What is this awakening? These are the questions I seek answers for. But until I understand some fundamentals of what is going on inside, I cannot possibly understand what is outside. I am. Always, eternally, infinitely. I am. My awakening which I experience as a moment, is an… Continue reading My awakening as an erupting blister

For the past year or more I have been representing Triself with the “aswaswas” diagram. The aswaswas is an acronym for “a space within a space within a space”, and is drawn as three circles, representing Firstself as the largest container of Secondself which in turn contains Thirdself. However, upon re-inspection I accept that this… Continue reading Reconsidering the Triself model

Why do I live the way I do? My awakening is constructed around the preservation of my peace. My awakening is an interruption of my peace; a painful moment of confusion and conflict during which I forget who I am. Prior to and after my awakening I reside in peaceful totality, without any confusion, fear,… Continue reading The rule of awakening

Searching is finding. Finding is seeing. And seeing is forgetting that I create. I create by searching. The more I look, the more I see, the more I want, the more I forget, and the more lost I will become. There is nothing to see. There is nothing here in my awakening to see or… Continue reading Manifestation is subtractive

In my awakening I believe that questioning delivers the ultimate form of knowledge. That answers are achievements I earn at the end of the learning struggle. But this is self-deception. Questioning is a painful state of uncertainty and disorientation. It is the acceptance of ambiguous answers in place of a absolute being. That I am… Continue reading My healing begins with my being

My awakening is fundamentally the experience of a moment. My moment serves as the framework for my awakening, however its contents frequently change. I experience this change as the shimmering of my moment. At the highest level, my awakening is the experience of my moment fragmenting into three distinct layers: Thirdself is the sensation of… Continue reading The shimmer of my awakening moment

Over the past few months my moment has been more painful than neutral. The pain comes from the guilt I feel from withdrawing from my performances. In my relationships with the people who remain I pretend to be one of them. I pretend to care about the things they care about. We make commitments to… Continue reading My failing performance as I withdraw

I do not engage much with characters anymore. There are a few important “relationships”, but even those are changing as I embrace and extend the reality of my authorship into my awakening experience. I have always disliked chatter about “other people”, especially those who were not present, or with whom I did not have personal… Continue reading The characters