Author: sonsot

In this piece I describe myself. The great tragedy of my life is though I can feel and sense it, as I enter my fifth decade, I’ve never been able to articulate what life was or what my purpose here might be. Some idea of it was hidden away in the corners of my mind,… Continue reading I’m lost

I had no solid concept of the nature of life itself, and my beliefs were easily traced to formal education, trendy beliefs, and various other commercial productions which didn’t survive even mild scrutiny. I valued material success and recognition above all else, and financial goals stood-in for a real life purpose. My spirituality was the… Continue reading Dabaism: The false purpose

Someone I was conversing with recently lamented their lack of talent. A lot of people feel this way, even if they don’t express it as explicitly as this person. In a society that places a premium on talent and celebrity, where content celebrating talent is demanded and supplied across every channel, it’s clear that a… Continue reading The dangerous talent show

I have a spiritual narrative now that makes sense. I can start at the beginning and move through it to the end. It flows — I can speak in simple language, but with an increasingly articulate set of secondary content to backup the principles. I recorded myself talking about it when I took M out… Continue reading What I know

1:26am… I just had a major realization. In the past I have often recalled the time I was walking home from high-school one day in Hazel Dell. This voice inside of me said that one day I would know everything about everything at any point in time. I was walking home from Columbia River HS… Continue reading December 15, 2019

I can almost feel the freedom of not caring at all. I’m sitting here in Manavgat, just had a nice meal of lamb and salad, and I just don’t care. Antinatalism resonates, though with different validations.  I do not want to procreate for it is just the perpetuation of suffering. The suffering is derived from… Continue reading November 17, 2019, Manavgat, Turkey

Death is the goal. Life is the journey toward death. I can directly communicate with the Essential by suspending the Personal layers. As I tunnel down through the layers I can experience the Essential. The essential is a big, open eye viewing everything. Once you know what it is you can clearly see that it… Continue reading November 11, 2019

Two other characteristics of people like me: I am envious of people who are couragous enough to commit suicide. I have had and indulged the thought that if I was given the choice to die right now without any further action I would say yes without hesitation. I know what life is and I’m trapped… Continue reading October 15, 2019, Sethan, Himachal Pradesh

I feel like this description accurately captures what I’ve been trying to say: there is the Observer, and the Person (Marc). Is the Observer “god”? I’m not ready to commit to that, but I think that is the direction. The Observer is the perspective that precdes the Person — it has been there since my… Continue reading October 8, 2019, Greater Noida

Everything is motion. There’s a fragile relationship between the motion of my existence and the meaning I attribute to it. On the one hand, it is all tightly bound together – there are events unfolding in chronological succession with specific meaning. A “life” is happening with attributes with names and agreements. That life, succinctly, is… Continue reading October 7, 2019, Greater Noida